Page 53 of Merciless
“Quetzalcoatl,” he answered. “God of wisdom for the Mexica.”
“And you’re here, why?”
“To keep you alive,” he answered with a mild scoff.
“Yes, I know, but—“
His head jerked up suddenly, dark eyes focused on some distant point while his moving hands abruptly froze.
“I must go too.”
“What?” For a brief moment, my shock and panic overrode the pain. “No, you can’t leave.”
“I’m sorry, I can only focus my energy in so many places at once.” His eyes met mine, looking genuinely apologetic. “I cannot keep you stable and provide mental shields against the Sha at the same time. You must do as Hades says.”
“You are the only thing keeping me from going through that door,” I protested. “If I’m here alone, then…”
“If I stay, Mariposa has no chance of saving you,” he shot back. “And all your suffering will be in vain.”
“Fuck…I don’t think I can do it.”
“You must. Everything that matters to you rides on your survival. Your wife, your family. They need you to live.”
“Fuck!” I lowered my head to clasp it in my hands, tugging at the roots of my hair to alleviate the burning ache through my skull, but it was just more pain. And I didn’t dare look up, knowing that if I saw no one there, I wouldn’t be strong enough to stay.
I realized in that moment what my biggest fear was—dying alone.
Even if I wasn’t really by myself, if Shadow was still next to my lifeless body yelling at me to wake up and drink water, I felt so fucking alone here.
My eyes squeezed shut, fighting the need to just look at the door, now that it had no obstacles in the way. It would be so easy to just walk through, to make all of this go away…
“Damn, Reap. Lookin’ strung out.”
The voice was like cool water on a burn. My heart jumped but I still wasn’t prepared to uncurl from my fetal position and risk seeing that door.
“I haven’t seen you look this shitty since that bad mushroom trip in Mexico. Remember that?”
My head lifted an inch, but my eyes remained pressed shut.
“Daren?”
“Yeah, it’s me, bro. I got you.”
I unfurled myself slowly, eyes peeking open to take in the young man sitting cross-legged in front me, blocking my view of the cabin. Daren had one elbow propped on his knee, cheek resting on his fist with a lazy smile.
It took a few minutes, but I slowly drew myself up to his level. His familiar face, those green eyes we share from our mother, hardened with determination once I sat up.
“I’m not letting you go, Reap,” Daren said. “I went when it was my time. It’s not yours yet.” He leaned forward and thumped my tired, aching chest. “I told you you were gonna die an old fucking man, right? Remember that?”
“Yeah…” I forced a smile. Seeing him genuinely made me happy, even if everything hurt like a bitch. “Crazy thing is, I actually want to live to old age now.”
“I know.” Daren nodded solemnly. “So your ass is sitting right here ‘til you wake up. I don’t care what the gods say, I’ll fuck with your free will if it means keeping you alive. Shit, I’ll tie you up and find a tree to hang you in, if I have to.”
I swallowed, the sensation like lava pouring down my throat. I still wanted to give in more than anything, to ease this pain and be free from it all. But Daren made it just a tiny bit easier, and I was no longer alone.
“Thanks for being here.” I kept my gaze focused on my brother’s face, not the cabin behind him. “I miss you, kid. I think about you all the fucking time.”
He flashed me that boyish grin, the one that made all the girls swoon. “I’m always around, Reap. Can’t reach the world of the living anymore, but dream states are a nice little loophole.”
