Page 69 of Merciless
"Mari?"
I looked at my mom, realizing she was trying to get my attention. "Yeah?"
She gave me a pained, sympathetic smile. "I'm going to head home for the night. Do you need anything?"
"No." I gave her a brief, distracted hug. "No, Mom. Thanks for sitting with me."
She squeezed me tighter and kissed my hair. "Always. I'll bring you some lunch tomorrow."
"Thanks," I said again, turning my full attention back to Reaper.
Now that we were alone, I leaned my chest against the side of the bed with a sigh, taking his thumb and rubbing it over the stone on my ring for the thousandth time.
"I really need you to come back," I whispered, bringing his limp hand up to my lips. "Please, please, my love. We all need you. And I—" My throat closed up but I forced the words out anyway. "I don't know how to go on without you."
At some point, many tears and pleading sobs later, I must have dozed off leaning over his bed. Someone was shaking my shoulder gently.
"Baby girl." Gunner placed soft kisses in my hair. "Come to bed." We had ditched the cot and sleeping bags for a big inflatable mattress that took up nearly half the room. Somehow, Shadow still dangled off of it.
"No." I removed Gunner's hand from my shoulder, I felt particularly masochistic tonight. "I want to stay by him."
Gunner breathed out a sigh but didn't argue as he placed a final kiss on the crown of my head, then backed away.
I felt Jandro and Shadow looming over me, but they thankfully didn't try to pull me away either.
"Love you," they both said with an affectionate touch and a goodnight kiss.
Someone put a blanket over my shoulders, the weight of it settling me down over the side of Reaper's bed again where I fell asleep.
The back painwoke me up first. I sat up with a groan, still mostly asleep as I rubbed my face. Why did I insist on sleeping over the side of the bed again?
My eyes remained shut as I stretched and twisted, trying to alleviate this aching stiffness from my sleeping position. When I opened them, two hooded, but also opened eyes stared back at me.
I froze, convinced I was dreaming. But the pounding in my chest was too loud, too real. So were those lips moving slowly to whisper, "Hey, sugar."
"...R-R-Reaper?" I went from frozen to trembling. Did I get so used to watching him in stillness that it was such a shock to see him moving?
"Mari." His whisper was barely audible but his lips did move, and his hand scooted toward mine on the sheet. "...s'it really you?"
"Yes!" I wanted to scream it but could barely speak. One hand came to my mouth while the other clasped his fingers. I went to lean over him, shaking in a ball of nerves and unspent tears. "You're really back?"
"Think so." Reaper's eyes followed my movement, lids still hooded, but hetrackedmovement! He was awake, aware. The EKG started beeping faster as his heart beat accelerated.
The machine's noise grounded me in reality for a moment. "Stay calm, you're not totally out of the woods yet. We...we still need to run tests."
A corner of his mouth lifted in a ghost of a smirk. "I'm...calm, sugar. Are you?"
That question made the dam burst. Tears spilled and a sob tore out of my throat. Calm was another universe as I released everything I'd been holding back. Every fear and speculation, every unknown, every stressful moment of wondering when and if I'd ever hear his voice again, it all leaked out of my eyes and rolled down my face.
Every regret too. Never again would I ever spend a single moment with this man treating him like he didn't matter.
"I'm so sorry," I forced out between chest-heaving sobs. "Never again, I...I love you so much. I'll never...fuck, if I lost you, I don't know how..."
Reaper listened quietly while I blubbered and poured everything out. He was able to bend his elbow and stroke my hair, green eyes watching me thoughtfully. I leaned down further so he could touch my face, holding his hand against my cheek.
I started breathing normally, then he rubbed the stone on my ring and I almost started bawling again.
"My wife," he whispered, index finger stroking my cheekbone. "My sugar."
