Page 83 of Merciless
"It's not that simple. You never know how long this is going to affect you or in what ways. We'll probably be dealing with this shit for the rest of our lives, so you need the right tools. That might be hypnotherapy or...regular therapy, I dunno. I'm not qualified to help you but someone smarter than me is." I downed the rest of my drink, bringing the glass down harder on the counter than I intended. "I am here for you, though. We all are."
Reaper leaned his elbows on the counter and rubbed his eyes. "Yeah I know, dude. And you're right. I need to not be a pussy about this and get some real help."
"Doc's colleague isn't far from here," I reminded him. "Dr. Ellis. She'll know what to do."
"Alright." Reaper placed his palms together, the curled fingers of his maimed hand nestled between them. "I'm glad I could come to you, Shadow."
"Me too."
"I think it helps a lot already, you know." He glanced up at me. "Knowing you've been through something similar and made it out the other side. I know Mari and the guys would never think differently of me, but..."
"They weren't there." I nodded in understanding. "Having Mari, Jandro, everyone really, is more support and care than I ever dreamed of. But what we went through...it's not an experience many people share."
"No." Reaper proceeded to pour another round of drinks for us. "And while I wish your upbringing was never inflicted on you," he paused to put the bottle away, "I don't think I'd be ready for help if it wasn't for you." He made a face as he lifted the glass to his lips. "That makes me sound like an asshole, doesn't it?"
"No," I chuckled, raising my own glass. A passing thought of my mother's ghost entered my mind and left just as quickly as it came. "I've made peace with my early life, I think."
"Really?" Reaper's eyebrows lifted in surprise.
"Yeah, we have a fresh start, like you said. I'll still have nightmares, I'm sure. The setbacks will still come. But I'm ready to move on."
"Well cheers to that, man. I'm proud of you." Reaper touched his glass to mine. "And hey." He looked at me intently. "When that stuff happens, you're not alone, alright?"
I smiled before taking my drink. "Neither are you."
Thirty-Two
MARIPOSA
Reaper’s strength and mobility recovered beautifully over the next few weeks at home. Governor Vance wanted to immediately have an award ceremony and dinner party at City Hall, but thankfully everyone else insisted on rest first.
And that time relaxing at home with my men was absolutely glorious. We slept in and took naps. We took the bikes out and rode with no destination in mind, just for the thrill of it. In the evenings, we all went to bed together, my favorite part of the day.
My parents, eager for their own private time together, moved into one of the new duplexes a short ride away from us. Jandro regularly took over eggs for them and our other neighbors.
I still worked at the hospital because there was plenty to do and I couldn’tnot.But our patient load was slowly decreasing, and at my guys’ insistence, I kept my hours reasonable.
By the time the governor’s assistant, Josh, stopped by to talk about the celebrations again, we had run out of excuses to say no. Everyone begrudgingly agreed, with Reaper stipulating that it had to be early in the evening so we could throw a raging after-party at our house. Just as I thought, he was not pleased to learn we threw a party in his hospital room after he got out of surgery.
“That’s cruel,” he insisted, pulling on a suit jacket that he had no business looking so dapper in. “Throwing a party in my room while I’m dead to the world and can’t participate.”
“We were hoping it would wake you up.” I lifted my hair so Jandro could fasten my butterfly necklace. “But your ass had to keep sleeping for another two weeks.”
“Did you at least funnel beer into my mouth?” Reaper turned down his collar and pulled apart the top three buttons on his dress shirt. Fuck, why was that so hot?
“We should have.” Jandro decided to forgo a jacket for the event, rolling his shirt sleeves up past his elbows instead. The tailors altered his shirt a bit too small and it pulled snugly at the width of his chest and biceps.
Down girl, you can have him any time. None of them are going to war tomorrow. Or ever again.
“Slick wanted to flick playing cards at your face, but I didn’t let him.” Shadow too decided to go jacketless, since it was still daytime and warm outside.
He undid the shirt button at his throat and was in the process of rolling up his sleeves, exposing the forearm tattoo of me as a pinup girl. Okay, how thehellwas I supposed to get through this event without dragging a pair of them to a dark corner for a quickie?
Gunner grinned at us from the mirror as he combed his hair. “I’ll admit, I was really tempted to draw dicks on your face.”
As usual, he was suited up nicely, everything tailored to perfection, from his jacket to his tie and waistcoat. That would only make it more fun to remove every piece later on in the evening.
I have been in the middle of atleasta threesome, if not a moresome, nearly every single night for two weeks, how can I still be this insatiable?
