Page 99 of Their Property
The thought felt bitter, unpleasant all the way to my stomach. Who was I kidding? I never enjoyed being alone. Dyno complained about T-Bone being clingy, but to me, nothing felt better than someone needing me.
After having Kyrie in bed with us though, something felt…off,and I needed this ride to clear my head. She and I never touched while it was happening, and I didn’t know how to feel about that.
The sun was just peeking over the mountains, and I squinted at the oncoming brightness. The doctor said I might have light sensitivity as my eyes healed. I could have waited until later to do this, but Ineededto get out of that bed. After that session in the morning, the four of us hardly left it for the remainder of the day. And then Kyrie stayed with us during the night.
Aside from a brushing of limbs now and again, Kyrie and I never touched. Except for when T-Bone and I had switched places at some point during the night and I found myself curled up aroundher,naked. I made off before Kyrie woke up, but it was damn difficult with how soft and warm she was.
I turned my bike sharply, veering off the dirt road into the wilderness. Later on, it would get windy enough to cover my tire tracks. No one ever came out this way, but we could never be too careful. I knew the way to my destination by heart and drove on autopilot, turning at the landmarks that only the Sons of Odin and the Steel Demons knew. A cactus with a broken arm. A boulder striped with layers of red.
I barely took notice of these markers, my focus fully on the sight of Kyrie from last night. Flushed and panting. Shy at first, then wanton and shameless. I could see the relief on Dyno’s face when they came back to the room together. T-Bone was sure of her since the beginning, he was just afraid to admit it to himself. Dyno had some lingering doubts, but those were clearly erased from their rooftop conversation. The guys were thrilled to have their wildest dreams confirmed—she fit with us, and it felt right.
But me?
I adored that woman beyond measure, and I had been aching to touch her in earnest. But I wasn’t like T-Bone and Dyno. She might fit perfectly with them, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was too fucked up for her.
It took me a long time to come around to kissing, and I only ever trusted the guys with that. When we had hooked up with others in the past, well, it usually went about the same as yesterday morning.
I was the weird, quiet one with hang-ups about kissing and women, especially. The guys never ignored me in group situations but added partners usually did.
Kyrie though…she didn’t ignore me. Her eyes had been on me even as the other two pleased her. If I’d been in a position to touch her, would she have wanted that from me?
I released one of the bike handles to run a hand through my hair. The blunt, shorter ends still felt strange but freeing. I recalled her hands on my head and on my face when she trimmed my beard. I couldn’t see her then, but Ifelther care in how she touched me. She wanted to do a good job. She said I looked handsome.
She’s nice,I reminded myself.She would do that to anyone.
I sighed into the wind whipping past me and hit the throttle to go harder. How pathetic did I have to be, thinking back to all her sweet gestures to convince myself that she liked me as much as them? She was friendly, kind, and made T-Bone and Dyno wildly happy. That was enough. I should be satisfied with that.
My thoughts were so consumed by her, I almost drove past the drop-off point and had to double-back. I kept my bike idling when I parked it, checking my gun inside my cut and my surroundings while I made my way to the inconspicuous boulder near a cluster of bushes.
I knelt behind the rock and stuck my hand in the little groove on the underside. I felt a piece of paper that had been folded and wedged between the rock and the ground. Once I retrieved the note, I took another cautious glance all around before opening it.
Delivered your message.We need to meet urgently. Sunset at the bluffs. —S
I torethe paper into tiny pieces and scattered them in different directions. The wind would do the rest of the work before long. Then I returned to my bike and high-tailed it back to the service center.
The three ofthem were recently awake by the time I returned to the room. I opened the door to the sound of soft laughter and murmured conversation. They were still in bed, the freshly changed sheets rumpled and doing a poor job of covering everyone up.
Dyno sat with his back against the headboard and Kyrie snuggled into his side, his arm around her shoulders and fingers tracing lightly over her skin. T-Bone was scooted lower, his feet dangling off the edge of the bed and his head resting on Kyrie’s hip. They all looked perfect together, just as they were.
“What’s up, Grudgie?” T-Bone asked, hugging a thick arm around Kyrie’s legs.
“I got a reply from Shadow. He wants to meet us at—“
“Whoa, hold up.” Dyno raised a hand toward me. “Dude, you’resigning.”
“Huh?” I blinked and sure enough, my hands were making gestures to communicate. I hadn’t even realized I’d done it, didn’t even think about reaching for a piece of paper.
“It’s muscle memory,” Kyrie said, lifting her head from Dyno’s chest. “You had to sign for almost two full days while your eyes were bandaged.”
It made sense, but I didn’t like how she was looking at me now, scrutinizing, like I’d been caught in a lie.
Which I suppose was technically true.
“You weren’t finger-spelling just now though,” Kyrie went on. “That wasactualsign language.”
“Yeah,” I mouthed and then signed,“Sorry.”
A heavy silence fell over the room, increasingly uncomfortable with every passing second.
