Page 35 of Faithless
“No matter what happens in there,” Torr said, eyes returning to my face as he slid the band over my knuckle, “I’m your guard at every turn. You’ll always have me.”
My chest started to ache with how long I’d been holding my breath. Even my teeth started to hurt from clenching my jaw. I hoped he couldn’t see how my whole body trembled with every emotion I fought to prevent from rising to the surface.
I was a swirling maelstrom inside, pissed and hurt. It felt like he was mocking me, putting on this fake display when he knew the real thing would never happen between us. It felt so painful, I wanted to scream or slap him.
But Torr would never intentionally be that cruel. He remained blissfully unaware of my feelings, so he must have thought a fake proposal would be funny. He looked so solemn though, on his knee as he carefully slid that band over my last knuckle. The ring was a perfect fit, which was just the extra, cruel cherry on top.
“We come out of this together or not at all,” he said before releasing my hand and rising to his feet.
A few feet away, Gwen busied herself with putting her makeup away, acting like she totally didn’t see fake marriage vows between two platonic friends. Fuck me. We hadn’t even made it into the resort yet, and I was already fucking up this act.
“What next?” I asked distractedly to no one in particular. “Clothes?”
“Um, yes!” Gwen sounded relieved at the subject change. “I have your gown over here, Rori. Torr, your suit is in the garment bag hanging on the closet door.”
Torr’s brows pinched together, like he was confused or even insulted that I didn’t acknowledge his fake vows. But his features quickly smoothed over as he crossed the room to get his clothes.
I turned to the bed where a long, flowy gown made of some satiny material was laid out before me. It was a deep, rich pink, almost burgundy in color. I wasn’t big on pink in general, but the dress was pretty, and I knew Gwen would pick a flattering color for me. I brought my left hand out in front of me, staring at the ring Torr had placed just moments before. The stone’s glassy surface reflected the pink hues of the dress, and I wondered how long it would take before the charade was too much for me. How long until I couldn’t hold back anymore and cracked?
Closing my fist, I let my hand drop back to my side and refocused on the dress.One day at a time,I told myself.One minute at a time if I have to.
* * *
An hour later,our bikes were being loaded into a trailer being pulled by a truck, and Gwen showed us to two luxury vehicles waiting in front of the tavern. Torr practically drooled as he approached “our” car, some kind of vintage Rolls Royce.
“I’ve always wanted to drive a car like this.” He walked a slow, appreciative circle around the thing.
I, on the other hand, just hated that it had four walls and a roof. It might as well have been a cage. I’d always hated riding in cars ever since I was a baby. My parents complained I’d send them to an early grave because I’d always open a car door before it stopped moving. Nothing beat the freedom of a motorcycle, and a heavy stone of sadness settled in my chest knowing it would be a whole month before I rode again.
Torr seemed to sense the melancholy rolling off me, and he came around to give my shoulder a squeeze. “It won’t be forever,” he said, as if he knew exactly what was getting me down.
I gave him a small nod and allowed him to guide me to the passenger side with his hand on my back. He opened the door just as Gwen pulled up in front of us in her large luxury SUV, the backseats crammed with “our” things for our “honeymoon”.
“Just follow me,” she said before rolling up the tinted window.
Torr and I settled into the car, and he push-started the ignition. “Think she’ll let me go fast in this thing a time or two?”
“Don’t risk it,” I said. “She has to give this back to her employer at some point.”
“I know, I was just kidding.”
The silence was heavy between us as we drove. I spent most of the time staring out the window at the desert rushing past us. Part of me wanted to bring up the whole business with putting the ring on my finger, mainly to ask what the fuck that was about? At the same time, I was scared of the answer I would get.
Torr didn’t push for conversation, and I wondered if he was mulling over that same moment as I was. Probably not. Torr was like a mountain—everything just rolled off of him. Was it just two nights ago that he lectured me about not holding onto things I couldn’t control?
Well, my control over my feelings for him was slipping. And I wasn’t sure how to reel that in, especially now that we had to play the part of a married couple.
Looking upward, I was completely unsurprised at the flying speck in the sky. Astarte kept an easy pace with us in the car and apparently still had nothing to say. Would she even step in to course-correct if we fucked up? Who knew? My parents talked about bonds and abilities with their gods like there was a relationship. Gwen and Lupa certainly seemed close. But me and this dove felt like reluctant coworkers at best.
The drive was no less than three hours, but it felt like no time at all before Gwen’s tail lights lit up, and we slowed behind her. I straightened in my seat, craning my neck to see what was ahead.
There was…nothing.
Only more desert stretched beyond her front bumper, and I was utterly confused as to why she stopped.
“Is something wrong?” I wondered aloud, hands going for my seatbelt.
Torr’s hand stopped mine, his palm touching the ring on my finger. “Stay put. I’ll check on her.”
