Page 66 of Faithless
“Oh my God, did you hearanythingI just said?”
“It’s a yes or no question, Rori.”
“I don’t have to tell you jack-fucking-shit.”
“I know you don’t, but fucking tell me anyway!” The last word was accompanied by my fist slamming a side table so hard, I left a dent in the polished wood surface. “Please,” I added, my tone betraying how fucking weak I was for this woman.
Rori only stared at me with an expression of complete bewilderment, her drink hovering on its way to her mouth. A timid knock came from the other side of our door, echoing through our uncomfortable silence.
“Rori, ma’am? Is everything alright?” came the hesitant voice of her maid.
“Now’s not a good time,” I answered. “Come back later.”
Rori’s drink came down hard on the counter, spilling whiskey with the force of its impact. “You don’t talk to her like that,” she snapped. Paige is a friend, not a servant.”
God, I was royally fucking everything up.
“Sorry,” I said under my breath. Then louder, “I’m really so fucking sorry, Rori.” The list of things to apologize for seemed too big to rattle off, so an all-encompassing apology seemed the most appropriate.
“You’d know I was getting close to her too if you’d actually, you know, talk to me.” She looked past me to yell at the door. “I’m okay, Paige. I’ll be out in a few minutes.”
“Okay!” came the timid reply through the door.
“You’re right.” My hands clenched at my sides with the need to wrap around her, to pull her into my chest for real this time, not as an act. “You’re right about everything, Ror. I shouldn’t have shut you out.”
Rori held up her left hand, examining the black diamond I’d placed on her finger back at the tavern, which felt like an eternity ago. “So much for guarding me at every turn, huh? Good thing I didn’t need you anyway.”
And yet I don’t see you taking that ring off.I swallowed back that retort, despite it burning hot in my throat. If I wanted a fighting chance of us getting out of here alive, I had to keep my defensiveness in check. I had to leave behind all my jealousy, all the bitterness of the chances I’d lost. Chances I never took because I was too afraid of losing her.
Sure, she’d only met with this gladiator twice, and it might not go anywhere. But he wasn’t some small-town guy like all the ones she’d had before. I’d known all of them, known they weren’t good enough for her. But the Butcher wasn’t just a man, he was a force. He might actually see her worth. Might actually take her from me.
And acting like a jealous, sad sack wasn’t going to keep her. Shit, it might be too late at this point. I could already feel her slipping away.
“I meant those vows when I said them,” I told her. “And I’m sorry that I let my pride rule me and didn’t guard you like I should have. I really fucking regret that, Rori.” She narrowed her eyes, but I went on before she could respond. “I also said we would come out of this together or not at all. And I still have every intention of doing that. But Rori, I cannot stress how much we need to leavenow.”
She shook her head, and I wanted to punch the end table again with how fucking infuriating and stubborn and gorgeous she was.
“Santos deserves to know what’s going on,” she insisted. “But we can leave immediately after. Just lie low until I get back.”
“Right,” I snapped, my threadbare control snapping like a single strand of hair. “I’ll just wait here with all the lights off while you take one last ride on your gladiator rodeo. Brilliant fucking idea.”
“I haven’t fucked him, Torr! Jesus fucking Christ!” She threw the whiskey glass across the room as she shouted. It bounced and slid across the floor but didn’t break. “Not that you’d fucking believe me, but there it is. Satisfied?”
Oh I was, more than I would ever admit. Something possessive and toxic inside me felt immensely pleased that she hadn’t gone through with it. Rori’s heart followed where her sex life led. I’d seen it happen many times. If she hadn’t pounced on this guy, she wasn’t falling for him.
Yet.
“I do believe you.” I shoved my hands in my pockets, jerking my chin down in a quick nod. “Fine then. Go let him know what’s up.”
Rori was still fuming, her chest rising and falling with harsh, furious breaths as she glared at me. “This is the last time I’m going to ask you,” she said, her voice just on the edge of calm. “Why do you suddenly care about who I’m fucking, when it has never mattered to you before?”
My throat closed up as though my heart had jumped in there to choke off my words and protect itself. “You really don’t know?” I forced out.
She swung her hands out to the sides, then let them flop against her legs with aduhexpression. “Now would be a great time to use your words and actuallytalkto me, Torr.”
Oh hell no. This was the last place I wanted to be, putting my heart on the line to Rori fucking Wilder. I didn’t do that for anybody, especially not her.
I wanted to scurry off to the gym and lift until I was a puddle of sweat on the floor. Or better yet, bend her over that counter andshowher how I felt. I wouldn’t stop until she was an orgasmic mess, wouldn’t that be enough? My love language was nonstop orgasms, but saying it in words was too damn much.
