Page 76 of Faithless
I was on the verge of tearing out chunks of my hair. “Fuckingwhy?” I cried out.
“Because the last people who were supposed to love me left me in the desert to die!”
The silence following his shout created a void in that room, nothing but pure emptiness. And then it slowly filled to the brim with all kinds of realizations.
Torr kept everyone at arm’s length, even Daren. He poured all of his energy into lifting weights so that he’d never need anyone but himself to protect him. When others needed protecting, he did so with an onslaught of fists and years of pent-up childhood fury. Despite my family opening their home and arms to him, he always held back, just a little. He was always on the fringe, never fully allowing himself to be part of us. Because family, to him, meant abandonment.
And he never let himself fall in love so that his heart would never be broken again.
“Torr…” His name was a whispered plea on my lips, and then it was me reaching for his face. He stiffened at my touch but thankfully didn’t pull away. “Remember this?” I brushed the back of my fingers against his cheek, letting the black diamond gently run across his stubble. “You can still keep this promise. You and I are in this together, okay? You’re never going to lose me.”
He was quiet for a long time, so long that I wondered if he’d locked everything away again until he said, “How do I know that?” in a choked whisper.
“Trust.” My hand slid around to the back of his neck. “You’re going to have to unclench your emotional butthole and trust me a little.”
I was expecting more of his stoicism but he actually laughed, his forehead lowering to brush mine. “See, this is why you’re perfect.”
“I’m not.” I placed both hands around his neck, letting my nails drag along the tight muscles there. “But I’m here. And…” My throat tightened. It was my turn to lay it all out there. “And I’m yours. If you’ll have me.”
Torr’s hands fell to my waist in a heavy, solid grip. “What about your gladiator?”
“That depends,” I mused. “Would you let me keep him?”
His fingers closed into fists, bunching up the fabric of my dress. “Probably. As long as you keep me too.”
We drifted closer together in a proximity that was familiar, yet these touches were completely unknown territory. “Never shut me out again,” I said, meeting his eyes. “Talk to me, and don’t bury what you’re feeling. And I promise I’ll never let you go. But if you shut me out again, that’s it. We’re done.”
Torr nodded, his arms sliding around my back. “I’ll do my best to not fuck it up.” One hand returned to my face, his thumb measuring the distance between our lips as he whispered, “I’m sorry about how I acted. Then, now. All of it. Forgive me?”
“Yeah.” Our noses touched now, the warmth of his mouth heating mine. “I still need you, Torr.” I traced his mouth once before adding, “I still love you.”
His kiss tasted like a drug I’d been craving since I was at least sixteen, maybe younger. It was a heady rush that made my knees buckle, but he was thankfully there to catch me. All the years of yearning, wishing, wanting, hit me like a motorcycle at full speed. And the reality was still better than I’d imagined.
Torr held me flush to his chest, an urgent tightness in his grip that suggested he still had fears about me leaving him. That would take time to alleviate, and I was patient. I’d waited this long for him after all.
We parted for a breath of air, and I dragged my lips across his jaw to his ear. “Not going anywhere,” I whispered, untucking his shirt to dive my hands underneath. “You might share me, but you’ll always be mine.”
“Yours,” he groaned, palming my ass with both hands. “I’ve only ever wanted to be yours.”
“You want your name tattooed back there?” I pressed lightly on his chest, making him walk backwards until he hit the couch, then shoved him down to lie on it. “Just say the word, and I’ll do it.”
I straddled him and together, we got his shirt off. All of the times I’d seen him topless, made excuses to touch him but not too gratuitously, it was laughable now. My hands ran shamelessly over his abs, his sculpted arms and shoulders, smoothing over the flat planes of his chest. He grabbed my wrist, stopping my hand directly over his heart.
“That’s where I’m tattooing your name.” He grinned. “And I’m gonna have your dad do it.”
“Ew, no! Do not bring my dad up right now.”
He laughed, then speared his fingers through my hair and closed his fist, bringing me down for a possessive kiss. “Let me try to be sweet,” he growled against my lips.
I ground my core against his bulge, pressing into the friction separating us. “Try again without mentioning any of my family members.”
“We should fuck on Daren’s kitchen table when we get back. I always thought it was the perfect height for that.”
“Torr!”
He cackled gleefully, and I had to admit the moment of pure joy lighting up his usually-brooding face was beautiful to see. Even as I squeezed a hand around his throat, glaring at him as hard as I could, I was laughing too.
“I’d kill you if I didn’t love you so much.” I was smiling too hard to sound threatening, and his grin pressed to mine, hands running up my thighs.
