Page 52 of Harmless
I shook my head. “No, that’s it for today. Thanks again, guys.”
“Can we get our money back?” Dan muttered.
“Oh, right. Here.”
They all grabbed their cash and took off in a hurry, probably in search of somewhere private to rub out those erections caused by the pills I asked them to take.
Alone, I looked down at the information Nella had written, but all the words blurred together in my brain. With a careful pull, I tore the sheet off the legal pad and carefully folded it before putting it in a jacket pocket.
I got what I needed. And I never had to inflict pain on Nella or do any other sick type of torture. I just fucked with her head. Made her believe her worst fear was about to happen and probably triggered some flashbacks.
Hell, that was probablyeverywoman’s worst fear. Maybe that was why my conscience was all weird about it now.
I wanted to ride. I wanted to drink until I passed out. I wanted to have some very enthusiastic, consensual sex. I wanted to be alone and stare at the ceiling.
What was done was done. But how was I supposed to keep going and be okay with it?
While running on the hamster wheel of my mind, I wandered into the living room where Devin and Santos sat on the couch next to each other.
Their weapons were laid out on the coffee table—Devin’s many small throwing knives and Santos’ much larger machetes. The guys were clearly in the middle of a sharpening session, with whetstones, oil, and a small pile of cloths near the blades. Both of them paused and looked up at the sight of me.
“Hey,” Santos said gently, wiping his hands on a cloth over his leg. “You okay?”
I found it utterly impossible to answer him in that moment, so I looked at Devin.
“I got what I needed. She’s all yours,” I said before turning and heading up to the bedroom I’d claimed.
18
HUDSON
Iwoke up to something hard and cold poking me in the chest. Groaning, I went to rub my eyes but found my limbs still tied down.
Oh, right. I’d managed to free one arm and punched the woman who’d gotten on top of me, which earned my restraints being reinforced by chains now. On top of some other really unpleasant shit.
But it was worth it. I felt a surge of joy lighting up my cold, dead nerves every time I saw that bitch’s black eye.
The man I used to be wouldn’t have been able to fathom striking a woman. He never would have believed he’d be captured and used as a breeding stud either. My reality was incomprehensible now. Maybe I’d died and this was Hell.
It turned out to be a gun barrel poking me in the chest. The long snout of a rifle, so the woman holding it could still keep a fair distance away from me.
“Wake up,” she said, nudging me again. “And wash up. You’re going out today.”
Out? As in, leaving this room I’d been confined to for months, if not years? I didn’t dare ask for clarification, but the spark of hope in my chest was a painful thing. Hope did nothing but ensure more misery later on.
My wrists and ankles were unbound while four rifles hovered in the air a few feet away, all pointing at me. I drew my arms and legs in, muscles screaming at the stiffness and cramping.
“Shower,” said the woman, swinging her gun toward the adjoining bathroom. “The water shuts off in ten minutes.”
I moved in that direction, timid and slow, until I was in the bathroom and the door shut behind me. If I could still feel anything, I would have wept. A shower, alone, for ten whole minutes!
Not wanting to waste time, I stripped off my clothes and went under the spray. Oh God, it washotwater too.
There were no temperature controls, no shower head, towel rods, or anything that could have been used as a weapon. Someone was controlling the water and temperature from another location, but I didn’t care. This was a tiny slice of heaven in the hell I’d found myself in.
One small soap bar rested on a shelf, and I ran it over my skin, taking notice of my body for the first time in months.
I stayed clothed when they used me. They uncovered the only part that mattered and then put it away when they were done, so I hadn’t taken a good, long look at myself in a while.
