Page 39 of Deathless
“I don’t want to hurt you,” Rori continued. “I don’t want her to usemeto hurt you.”
“That’s not going to happen,” I found myself saying as I stepped off the porch toward her. For some reason, I wanted to ease her and reassure her, make her less afraid. It was almost like a compulsion to be strong for her while she was falling apart.
“It could,” Rori argued. “If she gets control of me, that could be the least of what happens. They want war, Hudson. They want to kill or enslave all men.”
“And you want to prevent that?”
It might have been a weird question to ask, but some nagging feeling needed to hear it from her mouth. I might have grown more tolerant of being in her presence, but I still found it hard to believe she was truly different from the women who had abused me.
“Of course I do,” she said, exasperated and without hesitation. “Ilovethe men in my life. I love Santos, Torr, my fathers, my brothers, all the men in my family, even my grumpy-ass Grandpa Finn. I like the Hunter because he’s funny and he treats Paige so well. I like and respect all the ex-gladiators who want to ride and fight with me. Shit, I even like Devin! I just want all of you to have happy, fulfilling lives like everyone else.”
She started crying again, and I let free the weird impulse that had been gnawing at me since I first saw her tonight.
I came down from the porch, walked right up to her, and put my arm around her.
Rori resisted when I tried to pull her toward my chest. She looked up at me, her face tear-stained and confused. “What are you doing?”
I wasn’t sure how to answer, so I said, “I don’t like seeing you cry.”
She continued to stare up at me, then let out a little scoff and muttered something like, “Whatever, fuck it,” and let her forehead fall to my sternum.
Her hair smelled nice, so I lifted my face away in order to not be weird and inhale more deeply. My arm rested across her upper back and shoulders, and she leaned into me until her chest was against mine. My other arm itched to wrap around her waist but I kept it at my side.
At some point, Rori’s arms went around my waist, palms resting on my back. She gave a gentle squeeze and sighed.
“We’ll figure this out,” I said. “But killing you is definitely not the answer.”
She gave a little snort of laughter. “What changed your mind on that?”
“Well, I got pulled out of a brainwashing cult and into the real world. That tends to fix your perspective a little.”
“You’re already a completely new person,” she said. “I mean, this is the last thing in the world I expected.” Her fingers lifted from my back and tapped down again.
“Me too,” I admitted.
My thumb rubbed over her shoulder. The embrace felt nice, different from the affection I’d started exploring with Devin. She was taller than I expected, her hair almost tickling my chin.The slight weight of her leaning against my chest felt good, grounding, like a heavy blanket.
We stayed like that for a while, not speaking. A shaky breath escaped her after some time, and she seemed to lean on me a little more.
“I’m glad you told me no,” she whispered.
Before I could think about it, my hand passed over her upper back, rubbing up and down until I stopped abruptly with a realization.
“Have faith,” I told her. “We’ll find another way.” Apparently, I was including myself in thatwe.
“Faith? Are you religious?” She glanced up from my shoulder.
“We all are somewhat, aren’t we?” I leaned back from our embrace to meet her gaze. “We have them.” I nodded at the jaguar, barely visible at the dark treeline. “Our vengeful gods.”
Rori looked toward the big cat, her arms still around my waist in a loose hold. “Does he talk to you?” she asked, her tone curious.
“Just once,” I said. “While I was in there. He told me to hold on, to not give up. That my suffering was ending soon.”
Rori looked at me, her expression brighter than it had been all night. “He came through for you.”
“I guess. He made sure you did, anyway.” I rubbed the back of my neck with my free hand, the one that wasn’t still around her upper back. “It’s given me a lot to think about. How fortunate I really am. So many never got rescued.”
“Did you see them?” Rori’s voice went low. “The sacrifices?”
