Page 71 of Deathless
Hudson pulled in a deep breath, his gaze still trained on the running, tackling, and laughing going on in front of us. “I almost want to be, but I’m not.”
“Because...?” My worst fear in that moment was finding out he actually didn’t feel as strongly for me as I did for him.
“Because I knew it was bound to happen.” He set the now-empty beer bottle aside on the railing next to him. “Because I knew on some level, you started up this thing with me to distract yourself from her.”
“That’s not true,” I protested. “I had always wanted you, since before her, before all of this. I won’t deny that I was selfish.Iwanted to be the reason you healed. I wanted to be the one who made you feel pleasure again, feel strong and confident again.Thatwas what I always wanted. I...I didn’t expect her.”
Hudson let out a soft little laugh. “It’s funny how the things we’re meant for are the last things we expect.”
I stared at his side profile, completely lost as to what to feel. “Are you saying I’m not meant for you?”
“What do you want, Devin?”
“What doyouwant?” I shot back. “You’re a whole person, remember? You can make your own choices now.”
He shook his head as he swung around, hopping off the railing to stand next to me. “I’m still too fucked in the head to really know what I want.”
I moved closer to him. “Then I’ll stay with you until you figure that out.”
“But what do youwant, Devin?” he pressed.
“I want you both,” I admitted in a whisper. “I don’t want to choose.”
“What are you two doing moping out here?”
We whirled around to see Rori striding out onto the porch, a thick white bandage taped across her chest from her collarbones to underneath her T-shirt. Her face was flushed,probably still riding off the adrenaline from her tattoo session. She approached us with a short tumbler of liquor in her hand, though her eyes were sharp as they darted between us. She looked battle-ready and not the least bit inebriated.
Even so, I couldn’t resist poking the bear. “Doesn’t alcohol thin the blood? You’ll need a fresh bandage if you keep that up.”
“Oh, fuck off. This thing’s halfway healed already.” Rori couldn’t resist biting back, as I knew she would. “Everyone’s is healing super fast.” She gave a small smile that almost looked sad. “Can’t help but feel like it’s a final gift from our vengeful gods. Better get your ink done soon if you want the superhuman healing.”
“I’ve hardly got any room left.” Hudson chuckled as he rotated his thoroughly inked arms.
“Yeah, right. You’ve got this big open spot right here.” Rori yanked down the front of his shirt, touching her forefinger to his sternum. “Perfect spot. Big ol’ empty canvas.”
“You sure it’s big enough?” He smirked at her and didn’t look the slightest bit uncomfortable with her standing so close, nor with her touch on his bare skin.
If anything, he seemed to be flirting right back.
“It’ll do the job.” Rori returned his smile and stepped back, releasing her hold on his shirt. She clearly didn’t want to crowd him, didn’t want to cross any boundaries he may or may not have established. “Your skin holds ink beautifully, by the way.”
“Thanks.” Hudson actually blushed. “Helps when they don’t see much sunlight for a few years.”
Rori had been in the middle of taking a sip from her drink, then promptly choked and began coughing.
“Easy.” Hudson actually patted her back when she doubled over. “No need to swallow it all at once.”
Rori wheezed like she couldn’t figure out whether to cough or laugh. I too was dumbfounded by Hudson’s flirting andinnuendo. He seemed different since Rori had woken up. Happier, even.
“Well, aren’t you full of surprises tonight?” Rori mused when she recovered. “ Dark humor and dick jokes. Anything else I should know?”
“I just told him.”
The two of them looked at me when I spoke, though my breaking the silence didn’t seem to break the tension between them. If anything, it felt more like the chemistry between them expanded outward to include me.
“Told him what?” Rori asked.
“What happened when you woke up,” I said. “Between you and me.”
