Page 90 of Deathless
I felt Rori and Devin’s eyes on me as I shook my head. “Just give it to me straight, Dr. Wilder.”
“Of course. And please call me Mari.”
There was a warmth about Rori’s mother that I felt the moment she came in. She had a calming, comforting presence, to the point where I felt no anxiety when she opened the folder’s cover. No wonder Shadow’s uneasy soul had been so drawn to her.
“Of the twelve children rescued from the Sisterhood,” Mari’s eyes scanned the document in her lap, her finger trailing over the DNA results, “four of them are biologically yours, Hudson.”
“Four,” I breathed, letting the information sink in. “That’s…actually less than I expected.”
Mari nodded. “The oldest is five. The youngest is six months.”
Devin cleared his throat. “The other kids that aren’t his. Are any of them, uh...”
“None are yours or Santos’,” Mari said with a gentle smile. “They all have different fathers, actually. I imagine most of the mothers came to the cult while pregnant or after their children were already born.”
“Where are the kids now?” Rori asked.
“And are they safe?” A protective urge rose up in me that I didn’t expect.
“They’re in foster homes and are completely safe,” Mari assured us. “The foster families are vetted and interviewed extensively. We also have a team of nurses who go out and do check-ups on the children weekly. Along with any medical issues, they’re trained to look for and report any signs of abuse or neglect. I promise you, the children are as well taken care of as they can be.”
The doctor focused her gaze on me. “As for the ones sired by you, you have choices, Hudson. You can meet them, if you’d like, and decide if you want a relationship with them. The families they’re with have been told a very basic overview of your situation, and they’re open to visits from you, if you’d like. If you’re not ready for that at this time, that’s okay too.”
The room fell silent, waiting for an answer from me.
“What happens if I...I don’t?” I clasped my fingers together, searching for words that were oddly difficult to spit out. “If I don’t...claim them as my own?”
“After some time to adjust, they will be eligible for adoption,” Mari answered. “The territory is giving you priority and a grace period to decide, since you are the biological father. But if you don’t seek parental rights after twelve months, they will seek to place those children in adoptive families.”
Devin wrapped a hand around my upper arm and placed his chin on my shoulder. “No one will blame you if you’re not ready to be a parent in a year. You never wanted this. You never agreed to have kids. And they’ll still be happy and cared for.”
Mari nodded sagely. “The territory and adoption agency are sympathetic as to what happened in that cult, but they must act in the best interest of the children. These kids need stability and a very gentle introduction to normal society so they can thrive.”
“I want to meet them.” The declaration was out of my mouth before I could give it much thought, but it felt right as soon as I said it. “Well, maybe one of them to start.”
Mari smiled warmly again. “How about two? The two older ones are with one family and the two younger ones are with another.”
I swallowed and nodded, nerves lighting up my stomach. But if anything, that was just further proof I was doing the right thing. “Okay, sure. Two of them. Maybe the older two first? I don’t know, I’ve never spent much time around kids.”
Mari closed her folder and beamed at me. “Just be yourself, Hudson. You’ll do great.”
Roriand I pulled up to a small house three days later. She wasn’t in riding shape yet, so we borrowed her brother’s car to make this visit together. It didn’t hit me until right then that this was what couples did. Partners in love met children for the first time, not friends or…whatever we were.
Really, it should have been Devin with me. But the kids were still distrustful of men, if not absolutely terrified of them. Mari and the social worker I talked to recommended that I have a woman with me when I met my children for the first time.
Mychildren. I was still getting used to that idea.
But I wasn’t bothered by the idea that Rori and I looked like a couple. There was actually no one better to do this, and I was glad she was here. My feelings were complicated, but for now, I was just grateful for her support.
“Cute little place,” Rori remarked when I cut the engine.
The house did look cozy and well-maintained. Flower bushes of some kind lined the walkway. The exterior was painted a softblue with an off-white trim and had painted shutters framing the windows. It looked every bit like a warm, happy home where kids were loved and content.
A stab of inadequacy hit me. How was I the number one candidate with rights to these children? I had nothing. No home or way to make a living. Even the clothes on my back were borrowed. Just because we shared blood didn’t mean I could be a father.
“You good?” Rori asked gently. “We can try another day, if you want.”
It was a fair question. Was I actually ready for this?
