Page 52 of Little Paper Games
“Sorry, but I’m not in the mood to fuck you,” she spat out, her arms crossing across her chest.
“Good, I’m not here to fuck you,” I countered, crossing my own arms. I’d seen enough Kenna Clarke melt downs. I knew how this game was played.
“Well, fuck you, then!” she yelled. Brat.
“Fuck you right back. Oh wait, I have!” The banter was easy, familiar. She huffed at me for a moment, her eyes on mine. I wasn’t going to break first. I wanted her to break. In the best of ways. I wanted her to cry, to get her feelings out. It wasn’t healthy to hole away when bad things happened. In a pandemic where you couldn’t leave your house, that was doubly true.
What she did next was nothing I had expected.
She lunged at me, her hands cupping my face and pulling me down hard for her to kiss. I let it happen for a moment of shock before I pulled away.
“Kenna, no. I just want to be here for you,” I started, but her teeth tugged at my lower lip, and she pulled me closer, as though she were trying to wrap fully around me and not let me go.
“Then be here for me. Between my legs. On top of me. Against that wall.” And God help me if I didn’t turn her and shove her right into that very wall. Her lips tasted so sweet. I kissed her deeply, pulling away harshly when reality hit me a moment later.
“Kenna, I’m serious,” I argued.
“I’m serious too, Jude. Fuck me. Fuck me hard and make me forget,” she pleaded. I pulled away, my eyes searching her face. Tears were streaming down her face and her breath was coming fast now. Not from pleasure, no. From fear. From panic. From worrying. My hands moved down her arms, soothing her as best I could.
“Kenna, it’s not the time for that. I know you just want to not think about it, but we should talk. Have you talked to anyone?” I urged.
“Of course, I have! I’ve talked to my mom more times than I can count in the last twelve hours.” Her words carried so much venom. There was so much pain in her voice.
“Not your mom, Kenna. Have you talked to anyone else? Vented?” My hands moved up and down her arms. I didn’t want to give her the chance to turn inwards on herself again. It wasn’t healthy.
“What about Janie?” I offered.
“Janie?!” she scoffed. Why would that be a big deal? Kenna pushed me away, moving through her kitchen and into her living room, where she began pacing.
“Yes, Janie. Your best friend?” I stood in the doorway, propped against the doorjamb just watching her stalk back and forth in front of the sofa.
“Janie is my closest friend, yes. But Janie has her own things going on. I couldn’t in a million years talk to Janie.” She spoke as though I should understand that logic, but it evaded me.
“Why the hell not?” I honestly didn’t understand why you’d have a best friend you couldn’t confide in at a time like this.
“Because she just lost her sister, you asshole.” she spat back.
Jesus Christ.
I didn’t know anyone personally who had been affected by the pandemic in this way. Sure, there were classmates, technically, but I didn’tknowthem.
“Kenna…” I trailed off, not really knowing what to say.
“No, don’t. It’s fine.” I hated that word.Fine.When used in such a sentence, and especially by women, it was never, in fact, fine.
“You and I both know that’s not true. I’m here for you and I’m here to listen,” I offered again.
“Why the fuck would you even care?” she angrily turned on me. “All I am is a piece of ass to you, anyway!”
“What the hell are you talking about?” I pushed back, just as angrily.
“This stupid little game. All good fun for you so you can get your rocks off. Heaven forbid, pretty boy Jude not get to fuck some piece of ass for a whole week. Christ alive, Jude. You’re pathetic.” She was lashing out. Not going to lie, it hurt.
“This has nothing to do with that game, Kenna, and you know it.” I moved until I was right in front of her. She was pissing me off.
“Of course, it does! You don’t care about anything but getting your dick wet.” The fire in her eyes burned bright, and I matched it with my own ire.
“You don’t know shit about me, Kenna,” I gritted out, my voice going low and quiet. I wasn’t about to leave her alone at a time like this; however, I wasn’t about to be talked to like that either. Plus, this is what Kenna, and I did. We fought.
