Page 55 of Bartholomew
“I feel like you are saying a bunch of words in a different language.”
“I know. BDSM is an acronym for bondage and discipline, sadism and masochism, and dominance and submission,” I explained.
“Again, the new language thing,” she quipped, and I couldn’t help but laugh a little at the fact that she handled difficult situations with a modicum of humor, just as I did. We were so much more well suited for one another than I had ever imagined, and I knew I had barely scratched the surface.
“The easiest way for me to tell you is to tell you what kink is for me. But I need you to understand that BDSM is a way of life for many people that can encompass many things. I know you’re going to have a million questions, and I want you to ask them all. I want to be an open book for you, Delilah,” I spoke earnestly. “At the crux of it, for many people, it is a form of sexual or non-sexual play that involves a power exchange.”
“Now that sounds familiar,” she scoffed.
“You’re not wrong. There are many similarities to the BDSM community and how things are in Zion. But the difference is crucial. In Zion, we are told that this is the way the Lord commands us to be. We are never taught anything different. In BDSM, it’s all about consent. The consent of all parties at all times. It’s vital, and a truth upheld by everyone in the kink community,” I ventured further.
“Is that why you’ve always double checked that I wanted things?” she asked. I nodded, and she continued on. “I have wondered about that. Your caring side is so prevalent in how you talk to me, how you engage with me. It was one of the first things I noticed about you that surprised me. I simply chalked it up to you being a more caring man than I was used to being around.”
“It is about caring, though. It’s about care and respect for another human who you’re going to engage with. When it is all boiled down to the bones, it is simple. There are many types of play that people engage in. From a more widely recognized Dominant and submissive play to primal play, pet play, little spaces, and rope work. There are more extreme forms of play, widely known as edge play. Those, I will probably save for another day, unless you want to know now,” I explained, taking in the way her posture gave away her mood. She was an open book in her body language. Her arms were crossed, which I read as more of a protective gesture than anything else, but her eyes were on me now. She was open to at least hearing what I was saying.
“I want to know. I want to know everything,” she answered sincerely. “Ollie, the last several days with you have been eye opening. But one thing I can say for certain is that being kept in the dark about something. That makes me feel lied to. And people have lied to me my whole life.”
Her words hit me like a punch to the gut.
“I don’t want to add to that, Delilah, I really —” She halted my words with her hand held in the air.
“Just continue. What is edge play?” she asked matter-of-factly.
“Edge play is a play that is riskier. Things like electrical play, medical play, even blood play. There are so many forms of play, and the list seems ever growing,” I explained.
“Electrical? Medical? Blood?” she repeated, her eyes wide with worry. “And where do you land on all of this, Ollie?”
“I don’t do much in edge play. I’ve dabbled and learned a bit, sure, but that’s not my kink. My kink is pleasure. I am what’s known as a Pleasure Dom,” I explained. “What gets me off — err, what arouses me, is giving my partner pleasure. And I like to control that pleasure.”
“What does that have to do with tying me up and beating me?” The look on her face was so comically confused, I couldn’t help but laugh.
“Everything, my dear. I don’t want to tie you up and harm you. But the thought of restraining your arms above you with some cuffs while I spank that rounded little ass of yours is quite, quite enticing.” I couldn’t stop myself from raising an eyebrow and smirking at her.
“This is no time for jokes, Ollie,” she rebuked, a contrite look settled on her face.
“That’s just it, Delilah. I’m not joking. I would love nothing more than to take control of you and your pleasure. I want you to hold back your orgasm until I tell you to do it for me and me alone. To restrain you to the bed and show you exactly what your incredible body could do. To own those orgasms and lavish them upon your body at my whim and my will.” My voice was low, feeling the sexual need for her rise within me just as it had time and time again last night. And this morning.
“And how can you expect me to just be able to give over control to you when you lied to me?”
Fuck.
CHAPTER12
DELILAH
I watched as several emotions flitted over Ollie’s face in rapid succession. Good. He should feel those things. Guilt. Sorrow. Worry. Remorse.
“Ollie, you sat here — multiple times, might I add — and told me the importance of this home being a safe place for both of us. You told me how you wanted me to be my authentic self, and, Ollie, I’m trying. I really am. But how can you ask me to do that, to open myself up to that level, when you aren’t doing the same with me?” I didn’t know where the words were coming from, but they bubbled up out of me like water from a brook. Or perhaps more accurately, they careened out of me like a waterfall.
“I don’t even know how to answer that, Delilah,” he said with a sigh. “But if I’m being honest. I didn’t know how to. How was I supposed to just marry this woman I had never met? Engage in atrocious behavior on our wedding day, as we were both forced into, and then, what? Come home and say, hey by the way, I’m into kinky fuckery and want to spank your ass until you scream my name and beg for orgasms?” he scoffed derisively.
I balked at the comment, as the silence stretched on between us. Then promptly erupted into giggles.
“What on Earth is funny about that?” he asked, but his lips had already quirked up into a grin and laughter was bubbling up from him as well. We both laughed until our sides hurt as the moment stretched on.
“It is a bit ridiculous, isn’t it?” I asked, breathless.
“Yes. No. I don’t know anymore. This is uncharted territory for me,” he admitted, his laughter ceasing and his tone serious. I could feel the emotion in his voice as plainly as if I were feeling it myself.
