Page 12 of Ezekiel
“Then why did you say that? Certainly there is some reason why you don’t want to join me in our marriage bed. Why you don’t want to be intimate with me?” This was where her courage failed her. Her eyes lowered, hands folded in her lap as the insecurities of her questioning came out.
“It’s complicated.” It was a short answer, and not at all a good one, but it was the truth. Itwascomplicated.
“Can you perhaps elaborate on that, Ezekiel?” she asked, her voice heavily laced with frustration and burden. I did not like that I was adding to her torment, but I also couldn’t just come out and say,Hey, not only do I have a severe version of a mental disorder where noises bother me to the point of near madness, but I quell that madness by restraining people and taking their senses away while I bring them to unfathomable and blissful orgasms over and over and over again.Sure, that would go over so well.
“I’m not even sure where to begin on that. We’ll talk about it another time.” It was a statement, not a question, and she accepted it, at least for now. We ate in companionable silence for the rest of the meal, helping each other to clean up afterwards.
“I thought perhaps you’d like to take a walk around the property later this afternoon. It’s cold outside, but it’s not a far walk,” I offered, trying to break the silence as we finished up the dishes.
“I think I would rather save that for another day,” she answered. The rejection stung, but I couldn’t blame her. I hadn’t exactly been the easiest person to get along with so far on our honeymoon. Fucking hell, it was day one of our honeymoon. Nothing like fucking things up from minute one.
I searched my thoughts for an idea, any idea, of something that would bring her joy.
“Would you like to speak with Delilah?” I asked suddenly, remembering our earlier conversation.
“Today?” she asked with so much hope shining in her eyes that there was no way I would say no.
“Yes, today,” I said with a smile.
“That would make me very happy, if there is a way.”
“Then consider it done. I will reach out to Ollie and see what I can arrange. I’ll let you know as soon as I know,” I offered. I knew full well that Ollie was working today, but I needed to speak with Delilah before I was ready to hand that call over to Talia. I needed help.
Talia went back upstairs to take a short rest, and I found myself back in my study, pacing the floor with my phone in hand. I dialed the number and waited as it rang.
“Hey Zeke,” Ollie answered, surprising me.
“Hey! Um, I thought Delilah would have answered. Sorry.”
“Why did you want to talk to my wife? You trying to steal her away, bro?” Ollie teased.
“No, but she’s smarter than you, so I prefer talking with her,” I tossed right back.
“Well, that’s valid,” he agreed, and we both laughed. “But seriously, what’s up? Trouble in paradise already?”
“Yes,” I answered, brutally honest.
“Oh, shit. Well, if you want to talk to Delilah, I’ll go get her —” he began to say, but I cut him off.
“No, no. I just… I don’t know. I just need to talk for a minute.” Ollie was quiet on the other line as I tried to gather my thoughts, hopeful that I could piece them together in some kind of intelligible way. “I don’t know what to do.” I finally stated.
“None of us do, Zeke. It was the same for me when Delilah and I first got married, especially those first few days. The silence sucks, the talking is almost worse, and you feel like you’re in a lose-lose situation at the best of times.” His commiseration helped, if only marginally.
“I just hate this game. I fucking hate games. I just want to sit her down, tell her the truth, and be done with it. Let the chips fall where they will,” I grumbled. My pacing was going to burn a hole through the rug.
“So do that.” Ollie’s answer stopped me in my tracks, shocking me.
“Do what?” I asked, surely misunderstanding him.
“Tell her. Sit her down and be honest. See what happens,” Ollie explained. I still couldn’t have heard him right.
“But the plan —” I began, but he cut me off.
“Fuck the plan and fuck Levi if he tells you otherwise. The plan is important, but if I’ve learned anything being married to Delilah, it’s that honesty and communication are key. Just fucking talk to her and give it a go. Be gentle about it. Maybe don’t just drop that truth like an atom bomb and leave her to pick up the pieces, but talk to her,” he reasoned.
“I second that,” Delilah piped up in the background, and I smiled. Ever the calming presence for me, she instantly made this entire conversation better.
“Put your wife on the phone. She’s prettier than you,” I teased.
