Page 23 of Ezekiel
“No, not at all. I don’t see how that would be appealing at all,” I stated firmly.
“That’s okay. Not your kink. Still valid. Do any of the others sound interesting?” he asked. His entire demeanor changed when he talked about this. Gone was the reserved, quiet Zeke that I had just met, and in its place was a confident, excited man. A very sexy, confident, excited man.
“What is impact play? What about little play? Do you just do little versions of other kink?” I asked, my mind racing with possibilities as I tried to connect the dots.
“No, little play is where one pretends to be young. In my experience, they typically enjoy not having responsibilities. The ability to set aside your adult life and take on a more innocent persona appeals to them and helps them cope with the stresses of daily life,” he explained. My mind started connecting those dots real quick.
“Wait, so they pretend to be children?” I said, somewhat distastefully.
“Yes. But it’s all done with consent and understanding. For many, it’s not sexual at all. A big part of the kink community is being able to experience these things that appeal to a person without judgment.” His words rang through my head again.Not my kink, still valid.I could see why that phrase would be important.
“And what about impact play?” I urged, the need to know more, to understand, growing stronger.
“Impact play is just what it sounds like. It’s using toys and implements to impact another person. From paddles, to floggers, crops to whips.” My eyes widened as he mentioned whips.
“I don’t think I would ever be okay with someone whipping me,” I said, feeling small.
“Then whips are off the table. I’ll be honest, I’m not much for heavy impact myself. I much prefer the lighter side of it. Spanking and paddles, perhaps a crop or cane used in the right way. But impact doesn’t have to be a horrendously painful experience. It can be light. It can be whatever you want it to be because you can control the strength in which it’s used,” he further explained. His hand reached out to mine, covering both of mine as I fidgeted. I gave him a soft smile, understanding his need to soothe me in that moment. I appreciated it.
“I guess that doesn’t sound so bad. And people want that?” I asked, truly interested.
“Let me ask you this. If I were to ask you if you wanted me to slam you into a wall and pull your hair, what would you say?” His eyes glinted with that same playful heat he had shown downstairs in the study. I thought about my answer for a moment, realizing that before tonight, my eyes would have bugged out of my head and I would have been shocked beyond belief. Before tonight. Having experienced just that, my thoughts had completely changed on the matter. It had been visceral, sexy and made me desire him so much more than I had thought possible.
“I understand what you’re saying,” I admitted with a blush.
“How did it make you feel when I did that?” he asked, the timbre of his voice nearly vibrating through me, low and rich. I didn’t have to think about my answer.
“It made me feel desired,” I whispered, my eyes locking on his. I couldn’t look away. The hand that covered my own began running swirling patterns over my skin, so lightly it made me shiver.
“I do desire you, Talia,” he spoke, his voice arousing me once again.
“Is there anything else I should know?” I asked, hoping his answer was no. Hoping we could focus more on the sizzling tension that seemed to grow between us in this moment.
Instead, he looked away and sighed heavily.
“Actually, there is something else we should discuss. There are a million things we could talk about regarding kink, and if you want to learn, I am happy to share. But tonight I need to come clean about one more thing.” The tension that had been between us gave way to nervousness once again, but I mentally vowed to hear him out. He was being open and honest. I could give him my willingness to listen, at the very least.
“I’m all ears, then.” His hand left mine, and he sat up a little straighter.
“Before our wedding, there was a woman I regularly scened with,” he began. I instantly felt jealousy strike hot and fast inside my gut. “She goes by Miss M, and has been a play partner of mine for a few years now.”
I didn’t know what to think, let alone how to feel about this. He was with someone else?
“Do you love her?” I asked, my jaw clenched tight, not wanting to show him just how much the thought hurt me. A thousand questions ran through my mind. Was he in love with her? Was he still seeing her? Was this all a game to him? Was he going to keep seeing other people? Did he expect me to just turn a blind eye?
“No.” His statement was firm, irrefutable. “No, I do not love her. Our relationship was friendship, but we did play together often.”
“And that play was sexual?” I asked, hot tears threatening to flood my eyes. Why was I so upset? We had only just met. It’s not like he had cheated on me.
“Yes, it was sexual. But it is over now.” That gave me relief, if only for a moment. He looked away, his hands wringing together in his lap. There was something he wasn’t saying.
“Tell me,” I urged. I wanted the whole truth.
“I called things off with her before our wedding,” he stated, but there was more. I could tell.
“But…” I urged.
“But I texted her last night,” he admitted, unable to look at me. I didn’t want to read more into it, but the guilt-ridden look on his face told me that perhaps I should. Remaining silent, I let him continue when he was ready. “I know I shouldn’t have, but I did. We reminisced over our old scenes, and that means the texts were of a sexual nature. I am so sorry that I did that, Talia. And I swear it will never happen again.”
