Page 79 of Ezekiel
“Breathe in. Breathe out. Come on, bud. Deep breaths. You aren’t going to figure jack shit out until you calm the fuck down. Plus, your wife is in there, and she needs you. Regardless of whatever you did or did not do, she needs you. That’s your job as a Dominant and you fucking know it.” His words rang true, giving me something to anchor myself to against the storm that was raging both inside of me and inside my marriage.
My breathing slowed as I followed Kai’s instruction. He was right. I would do her no good in such a state. She needed me. Even if I had fucked it all up, she needed me.
“I just wish I knew what I did,” I muttered quietly, feeling my heart rate finally begin to slow.
“Sometimes it’s not what we did, man. Sometimes it just happens with subs. The tiniest thing can cause an emotional break,” he reasoned. He was right.
“She’s been close to one these last few days. I was so proud of her for letting go that much, for trusting me with such a huge thing. And then… this? I mean, I —”
“Zeke?” Talia’s voice sounded from the doorway, as meek as a mouse. My head turned on a swivel to face her, rising from the couch as I did so.
“Talia,” I began, but the sight of her stopped me short. She had wrapped herself up in the blanket Kai had draped over her naked form. That wasn’t it, though. It was the way she was curled in on herself. I had only seen one person look like that before. It was a woman at Abditory who had shown up late one night after being abused by her Dominant. A scumbag of a motherfucker who now had a lifelong ban from the club.
She looked abused.
Red marks marred her cheeks from where the tree branches had brushed past her face as she ran. Her eyes were puffy and swollen with the tears she had shed. But the way she looked down, refusing to meet my gaze. That right there broke me more than anything in this world possibly could. I was broken. I had broken her. My wife. My submissive. I wasn’t sure which title drove the point home worse.
“Talia,” I spoke again, my heart breaking at the sight of her, unsure of what to do or what to say.
She walked into the room slowly, eyeing both Kai and me warily. I hated that look. I hated that she held that look for me. What had I done?
“We need to talk,” she whispered, her voice scratchy and raw from her screams. I wanted to go to her. To take her into my arms and keep her safe. But I knew this was a precarious situation. I didn’t want to make things worse. With a subtle nod from Kai, I slowly moved towards her. I kept my hands down, clenched together in front of me, feeling sticky with sweat.
“I’m here, Talia. If you don’t want me here, I understand, but —” I began, but she cut me off.
“Don’t leave.”
There it was. I looked up, her eyes finally meeting mine with such pain and such horrific sadness that it somehow took my broken heart and smashed it into smithereens all over again.
“I won’t,” I whispered, my voice heavy and choked up with emotion. It was the truth. I wouldn’t leave her. I forced the thought of our impending departure from this place out of my mind. That was something I couldn’t allow myself to think about right now. All I could think about was her.
I crouched down in front of her, doing my best to make myself look as non-threatening and safe as physically possible.
“I won’t leave,” I reiterated softly.
“We need to talk,” she rasped out again.
“I’m here to listen.” Her eyes flitted over to where Kai sat.
“I, erm, I can leave and go… um…” he sputtered out awkwardly. Nice, Kai. Nice.
“Or I could take you home if you —”
“No!” she shouted, coughing as her throat protested at the loud sound. I froze. “No, I can’t. Not… not yet….” she trailed off, looking down again.
“Take all the time you need,” Kai spoke gently, standing from the couch to exit the room and give the two of us space.
“Could you maybe stay?” she whispered so softly it was hard to hear her. Kai sat back down slowly, as though he were afraid to frighten her off. The feeling resonated with me deeply in that moment. “I know it’s a lot to ask,” she began quietly.
“Ask for anything,” I quickly interjected, jumping at the chance to do anything, to give her anything that would help her right now.
“Could I have some clothes to wear?” she asked sheepishly. If the elements had not already reddened her cheeks, I was certain she would be blushing.
“Fuck, sorry, yes! Just a sec,” Kai exclaimed, nearly leaping from his seat at the opportunity to either be helpful or vacate the awkward tension in the room. It was a half-dozen in one, six in the other on what the answer to that was right now. Perhaps both.
He returned quickly with a pair of sweatpants and a tee shirt in hand. We both waited as patiently as we could while she returned to the room Kai had taken her to in order to change. She came back into the room only minutes later, the clothes hanging off her petite form. Malachi was not a small man, by any stretch of the imagination. His clothes on her brought up an odd sense of protectiveness, even possessiveness, in me. I didn’t want another man’s clothes on her. She should wear my clothes. I pushed the feeling aside, ready and willing to listen to whatever she had to say. I only hoped it would shed light on whatever the hell had happened.
“I’m here. I’m listening. To whatever you have to say. No matter what,” I reiterated, hoping my words would give her the reassurance she needed. Hoping my words would help to ease the tangled mess we found ourselves in.
