Page 62 of Gideon
“I am ridiculous,” he said around his mouthful of food.
“That’s for damn sure,” I scoffed.
“God, I love that mouth,” he chuckled, leaning forward and kissing me… with a mouthful of food, as I shrieked and giggled.
The afternoon passed slowly after we finished our lunches.
“Have you thought any more about telling my brothers about your story?” he asked, skipping a stone across the top of the lake. I sat at the end of the dock, my bare feet dangling in the water, enjoying the cool feel of it against my ankles.
“I have, a little. I’m just not sure I’m ready. It’s a big deal, you know?” I explained.
“What if there was another option?” he asked, sitting down beside me, his own feet dunking into the cool lake water.
“An alternative to telling your brothers? What do you want me to do? Write it in a letter?” I scoffed, sighing heavily at the weight of such a decision.
“No. But what if you talked to Talia instead?” I thought about his offer. I knew Talia, but she was younger than me and we weren’t close. Who was I kidding? I wasn’t close with almost anyone here in Zion. I kept everyone at just enough distance to stay safe.
“Talk to Talia, huh?” I mulled the thought over. “It still feels like a risk.” He took my hand, picking it up and kissing the back of it sweetly.
“Doesn’t everything right about now?”
He had a point. Everything about this felt like a risk, and yet, each risk I had taken had paid off. Some of them in spades.
“I just think that maybe talking to Talia could do you some good. She remembers less than you, but I think it would be good for you to talk to her. Sort of ease into the idea of telling my brothers,” he offered. He wasn’t pushing, but it was still a difficult decision to make.
“I hear you, it’s just hard,” I barely whispered. His arm wrapped around me, pulling me into his side. I rested my head against his shoulder, soaking in his calm comfort.
“I understand, Naomi. And I respect your decision.” Without a thought, without pushing me at all, he just accepted my choice. It boggled my brain, and it made a feeling expand through my chest that I didn’t recognize.
“Maybe you’re right,” I whispered, turning into his shoulder and kissing it softly.
“Hmm?” he murmured.
“Maybe it would be good to talk to her,” I agreed, sighing heavily as the weight of such a choice settled over me.
“I’ll set up a phone call for you,” he whispered back, kissing the top of my head.
“Thank you,” I responded, tilting my head up to look at this man who confused me and yet inspired me in the same breath. I didn’t know much, but I knew that opening up to this man wasn’t all bad. He was showing me, little by little, that there was good in this world. Even here in Zion.
He was right. Some risks were worth taking, and not just the risk of running as far away from here as possible. It didn’t mean it wasn’t a risk, though.
“Gideon?” I asked, pulling away from him and turning to face him fully. “I’ve thought a lot about this. If we are going to continue with both things — kink and telling your brothers about my past — I need to protect myself. Some small assurance of my own safety and well-being.” The words weren’t easy to say, and I knew that the next part would be twice as hard to get out.
“What do you mean?” he asked, turning to face me as well.
“I know you have some valuables stashed around here,” I began with much chagrin and a bit of shame.
“How do you know that?” he asked, a somewhat knowing look etched on his handsome face.
“I have my ways, anyway. I would like you to give me some of it. Not all of it or anything. Just enough for me to make a small start away from here, should things go south,” I explained in a rush. This wasn’t easy at all.
“I see,” he stated slowly.
Then he stood up and walked away. Just like that.
I gripped the edge of the dock with white knuckles, breathing out a slow deep breath, pretending I didn’t feel the tears pricking at the corners of my eyes.
That was it. I had gone too far. I had pushed him and now he was —
