Page 15 of Malachi
My hands wrapped around her upper arms, holding her there for the space of a shuddered breath, before I remembered myself, pushing her back towards Latobius lightly and stepping away.
“Seems y’all have it figured out here. Just don’t feed him any more treats, okay?” I tossed over my shoulder, not waiting for her response, before I stalked my way back out of the barn and into the fresh air. I took a great gasp of it, letting it clear my swimming head.
I was touch starved; that was the simple truth of it. I wouldn’t feel this way towards the girl if I had not been so deprived of human contact over the last several months. I should have listened when Ollie had told me to make sure I kept getting my dick wet, even if I hadn’t foundthe right girl. What did that even mean, anyway?
I ran my hand through my hair with frustration, pondering just how I’d gotten here. The perfect girl didn’t exist for me, and I knew it. But if I had just listened to Ollie, I could have been having fun all these months instead of cowering away up on my mountain like the recluse I was, deep inside.
I wanted a woman who had depth. Someone I could talk to, laugh with, and chase through the woods before fucking her against a tree or in the mud. Was that really so much to ask for? I mean, wasn’t that the American Dream when you really got down to brass tax?
It was so much easier for my brothers. Each of them fit into pretty little boxes provided by the kink community. They wanted a submissive woman who fit their particular brand of spicy delights. I wanted the same, but there didn’t seem to be a box for me. There was a primal community in St. George, sure, but it wasn’t what I yearned for. I didn’t want a simpering woman who giggled and got bratty just to be bratty before a chase or rough-housing. That was all well and good, but it didn’t fit me.
There was a part of me that wanted to believe Zeke’s words from months ago. He had told me that I was spending too much time judging the surface of the community. That by not letting myself be open and real, I was missing all the good that was under the surface. Perhaps that was true. Perhaps it wasn’t. I didn’t know, and it didn’t matter now, anyway. It was too late for any of that.
It wasn’t that I didn’t want a submissive woman. I just wanted her to make me work for it. I wanted to earn the title of Dominant for the woman who chose to submit to me. Submission was a gift. One I wanted dangled out like a carrot for me to work for, to strive for, to ache for. And once I was given that prize, well, then all bets would be off. If such a woman did exist, then I would give my all to her in a way that no other man could ever promise.
It would be an animalistic thing, something deep and hedonistic, the way I would love such a woman. But, in the end, I supposed it didn’t truly matter. A woman like that just didn’t exist. At least not in my world. And so I would continue my life of solitude.
“Oh, you’re such a beauty!” Eden exclaimed from the barn, obviously lavishing Latobius with attention, much to my chagrin.
Well, it may not be a current life of solitude, but I would deal until the day that Eden was off doing whatever it was she wanted in life, and I could be alone once more.
With the sounds of Eden’s laughter still ringing in my ears, I pulled out my phone. If I could just get through to Levi, to talk to him and get straight to the point of whatever the hell was going on, maybe then I would feel like I could breathe again, like I could do this whole plan again.
I lifted the cellphone to my ear, the sound of ringing buzzing against the outer shell.
“Hello?” a decidedly feminine voice called from the other end. It surprised me and in that moment, all thought left my head. It didn't sound like Ruth, but then again, Levi hadn’t sounded like Levi lately either.
“Um, hi,” I managed to stammer out. “Is Levi there?”
“Who is Levi?” the voice on the other end all but scoffed, her voice full of bratty annoyance.
“This is his number —” I began, but the girl quickly cut me off.
“I don’t know who you think you are, but this isnotLevi’s number. It’smynumber. My name is Lexy, so stop calling me, you freak!” she spat on the other end.
“I’m sorry,” I muttered, stumbling over the words as my brain grappled with how to put the pieces of whatever the hell was happening together.
“Well, you should be!” she spat derisively. “You and those other guys keep calling my number and you need to stop! I don’t know how many times I have to say it!”
With that, the line went dead.
Two things became clear to me at that moment.
First, Levi’s phone — or at least his phone number — was gone.
And second, that could only mean that things had gone much worse than any of us could have imagined on that trip.
Fuck.
CHAPTER5
EDEN
Don’t do it. Just don’t do it, Eden.
My internal conscience begged me, pleaded with me, to listen to reason. Unfortunately, the truth of the matter was that when the angel of my conscience was present, so was her counterpart. The dark nature child of my heart came out in full force, begging me to go. To run out into the woods and dance in the moonlight without a care in the world.
I had thought that after that first night, I would have satiated the hunger within me to do such a reckless thing. On the contrary, it did the absolute opposite. I felt a rush of adrenaline coursing through me, urging me to slip into the night and out of this place until I found my little piece of mystical heaven again.
