Page 28 of Malachi
I didn’t care for a single second that we were muddied, dirty, and filthy with sex. It was perfection, plain and simple.
CHAPTER8
EDEN
I was a mess. A delighted, satiated, helpless mess of a woman as he held me to his chest. The rain pelted down against my back like icy bullets, making me shiver. I was cold and so very hot all at the same time. My thoughts were a jumbled mess inside my head. Thoughts of what I had thought marriage would be, what I thoughtsexwould be. Thoughts of what it all meant.
I quickly shook my head against his chest, dispelling them from my mind. I didn’t want to think about any of it right now.
Carefully, he sat up, holding me to him as he pulled out of my core, setting me beside him on the ground.
Ew.The ground was wet and soggy, muddy and gross beneath my skin. It was yucky, and yet, I couldn’t bring myself to care enough to actually move. Moving seemed to be entirely too difficult at that moment. He stood beside me, drawing my attention as he quickly gathered our scattered and torn clothing from the mud and flinging them all over one shoulder.
His body was magnificent. Even covered in mud and wet with rain, he was like a god standing before me. Pure muscle and calloused skin, hardened by the work he put into his home and his life.
I craved him. I craved him in a way I did not know a woman could crave a man. It was unlike anything I had ever felt. All I knew was that I wanted him, and I want this. As much of it as he would allow me to have.
Without a word, he turned to me, helping me to my feet. My legs shook, barely able to hold my weight before he lifted me into his arms, much as he had done the other night. I rested my head against his shoulder, my arms wrapping around his neck. A smile played at my lips as I took in his warmth, his comfort.
He was a conundrum, this husband of mine. All acerbic words and gruff attitudes, but when it came to this, this time after we had lain together, he was the complete opposite. He was still stoic and quiet, as almost always, but the care he gave me as he carried me to the house was unparalleled and unlike anything I had ever received, even as a child.
My parents were not the kind to coddle a child.Spare the rod, spoil the child.That was their motto, as I’m sure was the case with most parents in Zion. But Malachi was not like that. I was learning very quickly that anything I had expected from the man was likely to be torn apart by the reality that was actually him. And I wanted to know it all, every inch of him, inside and out.
I had half a mind to mention the mess he was making as he walked us into the house, tossing our clothing onto the counter before heading upstairs to our bedroom, leaving a trail of muddied footprints in his wake. But that didn’t matter. I would clean it all tomorrow. For now, I wanted to be in his arms, held like I was the most precious thing on Earth to him. Even if that wasn’t true. And I knew it was not true. He barely tolerated me, let alone cared for me in such a way. Though, at this moment, it was truly hard to believe that both things were true. How could a man push me away like he did time and time again, yet care for me with such completeness? It didn’t make a lick of sense. I tried my best to push the thought away, but it burned like an ember at the back of my mind, unwilling to be snuffed out, regardless of how badly I wanted it to disappear.
I let my eyes close as he led me through the bedroom and into the bathroom, pushing all the worries away for the time being. They would be there, front and center tomorrow. I would deal with them then.
I had thought he would turn on the shower after leaving me standing, leaning shakily against the bathroom sink, but he surprised me yet again. He turned on the faucet to the bathtub, letting it fill with steaming hot water.
“Come,” he spoke firmly. It was a command. One I obeyed as he held his hand out to me and led me to the shower. He turned the water on as I looked on in confusion at the slowly filling bathtub. “That’s for later,” he spoke with a smirk.
We stepped into the warm shower, quickly letting the mud and blades of grass wash off our bodies and towards the drain. The warm water felt incredible on my rapidly cooling skin, the goosebumps still present but beginning to fade as I slowly warmed up.
As soon as our bodies were clear of mud and debris, he turned the water off, stepping out of the shower and guiding me with a gentle hand out onto the tiled floor. We didn’t dry off as he led me to the bath. I had thought he would lead me into the warm waters, but he lifted me into his arms and set me into the hot water without a word. How he did so without me slipping around like a freshly caught fish, I do not know.
I eased into the water, laying back against the warm copper of the tub for only a moment before he shifted me forward to make space for his own weary body. His legs moved outside of me, enveloping me in his embrace as he pulled me back against him, my back resting against his chest and my head falling lazily against his shoulder. He reached over to turn the water off just in time to keep it from spilling over the edge.
I closed my eyes, letting the hot water soothe my aching body as his presence behind me comforted me. As I rested, the thoughts returned. Why was he so caring, so gentle with me now, when during daylight hours, or really any time we had clothes on, he treated me as though I were a thorn in his side? Why did he care now?
“Malachi?” I whispered with great hesitation. “Why are you doing this?” I knew I was risking much with the simple question. In truth, it wasn’t simple at all. Malachi was a man of great complexity, but my desire to know, to understand, would not be silenced.
“No questions right now, little bird,” he whispered in my ear. I should have let it rest, should have obeyed his command, but curiosity got the better of me. I sat up, turning in the water, caring not even a little as the water sloshed over the edge as I turned to face him.
“No,” I spoke firmly. His eyes found mine, serious and furrowed. “I will ask questions. And I would prefer that you answer them.” Where I was finding this bravado, I did not know, but I threw caution to the wind and continued on.
“No questions right now. Please.” That please should have halted any more of my questions, but it did not.
“Why do you care for me, comfort me, now, but you keep me at such a distance at any other time?” I asked him, my eyes searching his for any glint of truth or understanding, any morsel he was willing to give.
“As we discussed before, giving care after the — activities — we engage in is something important and something I take very seriously,” he answered slowly, carefully.
“But that’s just it, isn’t it? What does that even mean?” I urged him, yearning for understanding, begging him with everything in me to give me clarity.
“Can we please save the questions for later?” he asked with a heavy sigh of frustration. His hand reached out for mine, urging me to come back to him, to lie with him and relax, but I pushed his advances away.
“No, we cannot save them for later, because you won’t answer them later. You push me away unless we are naked. So, since we are naked, I think it’s the perfect time for questions, and more importantly, for answers.” I doubled down, finding the obstinance I so often held at bay and letting it soar to the surface.
“You’re not going to let up on this, are you?” he asked with a pointed look.
