Page 46 of Malachi
“How the fuck do you think I’ve felt these last few weeks?” I basically whined, stamping my way begrudgingly to the empty seat.
“Thank you,” he whispered. My eyes met his. I could see the sheer exhaustion there. He was beyond tired, and I knew I wasn’t making this any easier. “When I returned from the trip, I was a mess. You can ask Ruth here,” he laughed humorlessly.
“It’s true. For the first few hours after his return, I thought he was sick. He was violently ill, shaking, and would not speak to me,” Ruth admitted with a quiet concern that struck me more deeply than I wanted it to at that moment.
“I was afraid to talk to her, to any of you. But I did,” he admitted with a heavy sigh. “I spoke with Ruth and after more talking —”
“And yelling,” she interjected with a look.
“Moreyelling,we decided to call in reinforcements,” he continued on.
“We were going to call the local law enforcement in St. George first, but then Levi had the thought that we honestly don’t know how far the Elder’s reach actually goes,” Ruth added.
“What do you mean?” Ollie asked in confusion.
“While the Elders aren’t out there converting people in St. George, you have to wonder how they can do the things they do without getting caught.” Levi’s words struck a nerve in all of us. I heard Ollie’s groan, Naomi’s gasp, and even Delilah’s whisperedfuckfilter through the room slowly as that particular knowledge landed for each of us individually.
“So you just dialed up the FBI? How does one do that, exactly?” Gideon questioned.
“It’s a process, that’s for sure,” Levi chuckled as Ruth nodded along in agreement. “Needless to say, after several phone calls that resulted in me learning the entire melody and all harmony lines of the FBI hold music, they put me through to a field agent and made contact. There’s much to tell, and I could go into more details than is necessary, but I want to get to the point here. At the end of the day, the field agent, Agent Driscoll, let me know that there is something going on here. Something that has put Zion — and, in particular, Reverend Jacob — on their radar over the past few decades. But they’ve never been able to pin him down.”
“Why the fuck not?” Ollie chastised.
“Because religious freedoms hold much more power than one would think, especially here in Utah,” Levi explained.
“That still doesn’t explain why you would keep it from us for so long,” I reminded him, still feeling that frustration, and honestly hurt, sitting like a rock in my gut.
“When I spoke with Agent Driscoll, he let me know that the smartest, and moreover the safest thing to do was to lay low. And he was right. All eyes were on me after getting caught on that trip. Sure, I had convinced Father that my lie was fact, but there is still a part of me that feels like I didn’t fully convince him. The Reverend and the Elders, their certainty in me is even more questionable,” he admitted.
“After talking it over, we decided to keep it to ourselves until eyes weren’t so focused on us,” Ruth added, taking Levi’s hand and giving it a comforting squeeze.
“Eyes are still on us, though,” Gideon muttered quietly, his eyes fixed to the floor.
“What do you mean?” Talia asked quietly.
“Someone followed Gideon home the last few days he’s worked,” Naomi admitted when Gideon stayed silent.
“Jesus’ tits and hairy scrotum, Gideon! You’re just mentioning this now?!” Ollie exclaimed, running a shaking hand through his hair.
“I wasn’t sure I was being followed, not for certain at least,” he grumbled.
“Yes, you were. Don’t downplay it,” Naomi chastised her husband with a narrowed look.
“Okay, can wepleasestop hiding shit from each other?” I chastened my brothers, feeling utter annoyance for their lack of rationale in such a serious situation. “This isn’t a joke. You all got on to me for months about getting fucking married to complete the fucking plan, and now—NOW—you all act like idiots? Christ, I need a drink.”
“I shared the truth with you all as soon as I could,” Levi countered, but I didn’t want to hear it.
“Not soon enough,” I muttered agitatedly.
“Kai,” Levi urged, but I pushed off his tone.
“No, Levi. I’m serious. I don’t give a flying, shit-filled fuck what the goddamn FBI agent what’s-his-face has to say about it. We are yourbrothers. This bond,” I continued, gesturing to the lot of us. “This here goes beyond anything and everything.”
“But Kai, you have to understand—” he tried again.
“I don’t have to understand shit.YOUneed to remember who the hell you are and what we are all doing here.” I stood again, walking over to him and getting down on his level. “You didn’t fucking tell me, Levi.” My voice was low, unable to hold back the hurt that tinged my voice as I urged him to understand just how badly he had fucked up here.
“You’re right, Kai. I should have told you,” he finally accepted with a heavy sigh. We sat there, him in the chair and me crouched down, for a long moment while we both dealt with our emotions in the situation. Finally, we both stood, embracing each other with a forgiveness that we both needed, even if it was tenuous at best.
