Page 3 of XOXO, Daddy
Well, so much for finding a place to be little.
Chapter Two
How many wayscan one Willow Ashford be pathetic? Let me count the ways.
Could it be the way I showed up to work my first day on the job, in a full suit, ready to kick ass, only to find out that the dress code wasfarmore lax than anyone had told me? I’d had to go through my whole day, meeting all of my superiors, looking like a pretentious idiot.
Or perhaps it was when, after warming up my food on my third day on the job, I tripped on my own heels, sending my Pad Thai sailing through the sky and all over the carpet. Bad enough that the entire staff in the bullpen saw the entire fiasco, but the room of a dozen investors saw every humiliating second through the full glass windows as well.
Not enough?
Well then, surely it was on my fifth day at the company, when I had been horribly late to work because half-way into my thirty-minute drive, I realized I forgot my security badge to get into the building. Class act there, Willow. Class act.
Honesty, the thing that made me truly,completelypathetic, was the fact that it had been two weeks since I had gone to ClubObsidian, and I had yet to take one step back in that place. No matter how desperately I wanted to.
That would change tonight. My bag was packed, and I was going to do this. I still wasn’t strong enough to wear my little gear out in public, but tonight I would at least go into the little room. And if it went well, I’d slip into the bathroom to change clothes. I’d like to say I had grown in the five years since I had discovered kink, discovered my little side. But in truth, I was that same scared girl I’d been years ago, walking into my first club. That had gone well; why wouldn’t this?
For a moment, I let the pang of loss sting within my chest at the memory of the home I’d left in Denver. It wasn’t just the amazing team I’d had at work, or the friends I had made — it was losing the community of littles that had become like a second family to me. Granted, one nasty breakup from my first ever Daddy had made the move back to Providence just a bit easier. To say that Thomas hadn’texactlybeen gracious when I had called our relationship quits would be putting it lightly.
All of that was behind me now. Now, I was ready to start fresh in this new life. Even if I was stumbling my way through it.
You can do this,Willow. Just put one foot in front of the other.
Standing outside of the playroom at Club Obsidian, nerves slithering around my belly like a nest of snakes, I just couldn’t bring myself to take the plunge. The only way I would ever get past this crippling anxiety and insecurity was to go inside that room and immerse myself in a new community. Hopefully, I’d find a new home there.
Reaching inside my bag, I let the soft faux fur of Mr. Fluffers soothe me. I just needed to pull the trigger.
Just do it, Willow.
Just do —
“Glad to see we didn’t scare you off.”
Frozen in place, the same voice that had spun comfort and desire within me two weeks ago sounded from behind me. The déjà vu was tangible, like a hand squeezing my throat shut.
He was here.
Again.
And he was standing behind me.
Again.
In front of the littles room.
Again.
And all I wanted —
“So, did you decide to go on in? Or still not quite ready?” His words held no judgment, only interest. Though, why he was interested in me or my plight escaped me.
“Oh, I don’t know. Just kind of getting my feet wet, you know?” I shrugged, turning to face him.
“I know you don’t know me, but it seems to me like you’ve got some shaky nerves, or perhaps are a little afraid to go in. Or perhaps I’m mistaken?” My eyes found his, all dark and sexy, peering down at me from his tall frame.
“It’s just… a new place. I don’t know.” My hand gripped Mr. Fluffers deep inside my bag like a lifeline. This man made me nervous, but not in a way that frightened me.
“Well, would it make you more comfortable to not go in alone? I know you don’t know me or anything, but I’d be happy to accompany you.” His gentle smile was nearly my undoing; a blush spread over my cheeks like wildfire.
