Page 41 of Through Treacherous Weather
Esco sat on his couch watching Star and Shai’Ann play. Star loved having a little sister, and each time he sat and paid attention to their interactions, it warmed his heart. She was so careful with her and didn’t mind helping her and showing her things. He was glad that Star wasn’t puzzled by the sudden appearance of a new child and even more glad that she didn’t hate Shai’Ann. Star was an only child with an absent mother, so the people in her life spoiled her extra hard to makeup for Sophie’s absence. Esco wasn’t sure how Star would react to all of the focus not being on her, but she was doing amazing.
It still had him stumped that he had two damn kids. It would be a long ass time before he had any more. A son wasn’t off the table, but if he ended up with three girls, it might be too much for his heart to take. Star already had him wrapped around her finger and here came Shai’Ann wrapping his ass too. He wouldn’t trade it for the world though. Waking up in the morning and getting two kids together versus one wasn’t exactly easy, but he got the hang of it faster than he thought he would.
He damn sure hadn’t missed the diaper phase and was ready to start potty training. “You ready to eat Star?” he asked. “I can make some burgers and fries or chicken alfredo.”
He liked to let her choose what she wanted for dinner most nights because he didn’t have time to be begging her to eat.
“Yes sir. Ummmm, I want burgers and fries!!” she was overly excited and that made him chuckle. “Shai’Ann you want burgers and fries for dinner?”
“Fry?” she looked up at Star curiously.
“Daddy Shai’Ann wants burgers and fries too.”
“Bet.”
Esco stood to make his way into the kitchen when the doorbell rang. Sophie was the last person that he expected to see but there she stood. The sight of her face infuriated him. He didn’t even care that she smelled like soap, and her hair was slicked back into a neat bun. The jeans and shirt she wore were clean.
“Why are you here?” he asked through clenched teeth. Before she could answer, Star pushed her way to the door. “Mommy!”
Pissed off, Esco turned and walked away. He didn’t have anything to say to Sophie. In fact, he wanted to curse her out, but he’d never do that in front of Star. Shai’Ann stared up at the woman that was smiling at her. She didn’t know Sophie at all.Esco wanted to be petty and take her into the kitchen with him, but he left her.
In the kitchen, Esco washed his hands and pulled the frozen patties and bag of fries from the freezer. Being the responsible parent meant he couldn’t smoke a blunt even though he wanted to do so badly. He would wait until the girls were asleep for the night which would be in a few more hours. Until then, he twisted the cap off a bottle of Henny and took two swigs. That would have to do.
He could hear Star squealing and laughing, and he swore he knew how single mothers felt when deadbeat ass baby daddies came by once every few months and played with the kids for thirty minutes and acted like it made him father of the year. Six years ago, seeing Sophie was the highlight of his day. Now, seeing her face made him furious. There was a time Sophie couldn’t do any wrong in his eyes. His phone vibrated on the counter, and he saw that he had a text message from Fatima. He had hit her up earlier, and she was at a hot yoga class. One thing he liked about Fatima was that she kept herself busy doing things that were good for her.
Sure, she could tear the mall down with the best of them, but she also worked out on a regular basis, she loved to read, and she spent a lot of time with her cousins, nieces, and nephews. Her being good with kids was a plus. Esco would know it was time to settle down when he felt it in his heart. He didn’t want a woman in his life just for the sake of playing mother to his kids but when he did find someone, she would have to be comfortable with his kids and be okay with playing a small role in their lives. He had fourteen and sixteen and a half more years before his children were adults. He was a full-time father, meaning he and the girls were a package deal.
There were five burgers on his large indoor grill. After flipping them, he picked the phone up and texted Fatima back.He’d be kid free in two days, and he wanted to see her. Between working and the kids, Esco didn’t have time to juggle multiple women. He hadn’t even had sex with her, but he hadn’t dealt with any other women in a month. They had been reaching out to him, but Esco wasn’t interested. He had way too much on his plate. He’d worry about releasing when he was so horny he couldn’t take it anymore.
“Smells good in here,” Sophie eased into the kitchen. When Esco ignored her, she leaned up against the counter. “Have you noticed that I’m clean?”
“I really don’t care,” he didn’t take his eyes off the burgers.
“I got arrested and didn’t have anyone to bond me out. I was only locked up for twelve days, but that was enough for me to detox. I came to see the girls because I’m on my way to rehab. The pastor of my grandmother’s church found me a free program. They’re going to pick me up from my grandmother’s house in an hour.”
“That’s good for you.” His tone was flat and void of emotion.
“I told Star that I was going to get better and that when I am better, she can come stay with me sometimes. Her and Shai’Ann.”
Esco’s head whipped in her direction. “Stay the fuck from over here filling her head up with bullshit. You couldn’t even stay clean during nine months of pregnancy. Don’t be getting her hopes up to disappoint her. You’ve done that enough.”
“Wow.” Tears filled her eyes. “You really hate me.”
“Yeah, I was a sucka for you plenty of times but that shit has limits. I’m good on you. No more passes and no more empathy. You can get clean, or you can OD. I gives no fucks, but you have a long way to go and I do mean a long way to go before my kids can ever go to your home and be with you unsupervised.”
“Damn,” she was truly stunned. He had never been downright cruel to her before. Saying he didn’t care if sheoverdosed was like a dagger to the heart, but she guessed she deserved it. Esco was one of the last people left that hadn’t gotten fed up and given up on her. It seemed that was over and he viewed her the same way everyone else did. Even her grandmother had fallen back from helping her. She was tired of the same ole same ole with Sophie.
“I guess there isn’t anything that I can say. I don’t blame you. I’ve been a messed-up person. I guess actions speak louder than words. I’m going to go tell the girls goodbye. It’s a sixty-day program. I wouldn’t ask you to bring them to visit me, but can I at least call them?”
“Why so Star can get used to talking to you while you’re sober and then you get out and disappear on her. She’s good. Leave her alone.” Esco went back to eyeing the burgers and refusing to make eye contact with Sophie.
Shoulders slumped with defeat; she walked slowly out of the kitchen. Suddenly, she stopped and turned around. “I love you, Esco. I might not act like it, but I always have, and I always will.”
He couldn’t lie about loving her. Even when he was pissed, it wouldn’t do any good to lie about something she knew the answer to. All the times he felt weak for her, went above and beyond for her, it was because he loved her. Most times, he felt like he loved her too much.
Chapter Eighteen
Justice lookedover at Denim and shook his head subtly. “You’re a busy man. I had to get my man to see us on the weekend because you’re always busy during the week.”
