Page 7 of U + Me : The Finale
KK pointed to the kitchen then scurried off as she tightened the belt on her robe. I gazed around her condo, and I couldn’t help but to be very proud of her. She was living real nice and her condo was very impressive. Since it was dark outside you couldn’t see the lake, but Lake Shore Drive was lit up and the skyline damn near took my breath away. Even though I loved living in Georgia, not too many other cities could touch Chicago.
I could smell the sweet scent of her perfume before I even noticed her coming back into the living room.
“Yo place is dope.”
“Thanks.”
“I’m proud of you.”
“For?”
“Come sit next to me,” I requested as she stood on the other side of the living room.
I could tell she was hesitant to sit by me, but she did anyway. We were facing each other and at first, I couldn’t find the right words to say.
“You leave, cut me off, then a decade later you pop up out of nowhere. What’s this about?”
“Us.” I responded as I gazed into her eyes, she let out a sarcastic chuckle.
“Let’s be real, there really never was an ‘us’.”
“So, you saying our friendship wasn’t shit?”
“I’m saying if there was an ‘us’, why did you cut me off like you did? I mean, I don’t fault you for not wanting to be bothered and moving on. Especially since you almost missed out on fulfilling your dreams because of me.”
“Hold up,” I interrupted then grabbed her hand. “I’ve never blamed you for shit. If I would’ve missed out on goin’ to college because I chose to protect you that would’ve been on me, not you.”
“Then what happened? When my mom died, I needed my friend, and you cut me off like a light switch.”
“Fort Knox ain’t have shit on how you had a nigga blocked. Don’t play with me like that.” I paused and waited for her to respond but she just looked down at her hands then back at me.
“I blocked you cause when you would answer my calls, you would tell me that you were going to call me back and never did. You stopped taking my calls and responding to my messages, so it left me no choice.”
“I’m not about to sit here and feed you a bunch of bullshit. I was wrong as two left shoes for handling shit the way I did. If I could do shit over, I promise I would do shit different. I needed you just as much as you needed me. But then shit got real bad and not only did I lose you, but I lost myself.”
“Lost yourself how?”
“You know I worked hard as fuck to get that football scholarship, but I won’t lie, the football program in Georgia was way more gruesome and required way more dedication than I had ever experienced. I had to choose between having a social life or staying committed to making it to the NFL.”
“I’m not trying to be funny but, you didn’t make it to the NFL. So, is it safe to say that something or someone was able to come into your life and distract you. Like always.” KK smirked.
“Oh wow! But you right. I didn’t make it to the NFL, but that isn’t because I was distracted by a ‘someone’.”
My adrenaline started to kick in at just the thought of having to talk about what happened. I was a man before anything, but it was taking a lot to keep my emotions at bay.
“Then what happened?”
I took a deep breath as I fought against getting emotional. I didn’t want to come across like a simp, but I wasn’t fully healed from what I had gone through.
“The last game of my senior year, all the NFL scouts were present; my dad and I had already had a few conversations with a couple of coaches…shit, I was living on top of the world. Then I took a hit.” I paused as a flashback of that day flooded my mind. “Long story short, I fractured my back in two places, tore my ACL and broke my femur bone on my other leg.”
“Oh my God! Darius, I didn’t know!” KK exclaimed as she held my hand tighter and started to rub the back of my hand with her thumb.
“I was in the hospital for five months. Just one of those injuries could end anyone’s career. I had to heal from multiple injuries. I had to learn how to walk again and to this day I still experience excruciating back pain every now and then. Any and all dreams of going to the NFL died the day I got injured. I fell into a dark space and cut everyone off. Was it right, no, but it was the only way I knew how to get through what I was going through. I never said I was perfect or moved perfect. All I can do is take accountability, which is what I’m doing now.”
“I would’ve been there for you. You didn’t even give me the chance to be there for you as you were for me.”
“That’s cause I’m a man. I was supposed to be there for you. I just didn’t know how to accept a person being there for me. Like I said, I didn’t come here to give you a bunch of excuses. I moved fucked up. Especially when I found out about your mom and Todd. I can’t lie though, hearing the two people that hurt you the most were never going to be able to hurt you again gave me some peace and I assumed it would’ve made you feel the same. Selfishly, I only thought of myself and not you and I apologize for that. I apologize for it all.”
