Page 10 of Getting Down on the Farm: Vol. 1
"You can finish up here," I said, reaching down to my shorts.
They'd be ruined and soaked, and I'd have to pick a careful path back to my cottage, but so be it. I wouldn't be the first walk of shame on the farm. I'd seen a girl come back from the lake the other morning justcoveredin round hickeys from some kind of suckers.
"Sure thing, farm girl." The centaur said, turning his back to me. "And hey…not bad."
I let out a sharp sound, something between a laugh and yelp, and hurried for the door before I threw something at his head.
4. COOL HAND LUKE
It took me an ice pack, three painkillers, two showers, and a long soak in my tiny tub, but I probably had the witch's enchantment to thank for the fact that I felt more or less myself again by the end of the next day.
Calvin had caught up to me at my cabin, after my first shower. His nostrils had flared wide and his face had turned beet-red. He'd taken the revelation of my time in the barn with the other centaur…less than gracefully. I'd stood in my door, letting him yell at me, until a werewolf came by and barked at him to back the fuck off.
He'd left with the parting shot of "You weren't any good anyway."
It stung a little, even if I knew it was only sour grapes. The werewolf had taken a few steps toward me after Calvin turned tail, and the furry face had grinned wickedly with promise. Until he froze suddenly, sniffing the air.
"You stink, honey," the werewolf said succinctly.
And then he too had left.
Prompting my second shower.
I considered hiding in my cabin until the end of eternity, but after a good night's sleep I decided I'd been going about this whole thing all wrong. Frannie in the city, Frannie in the overcrowded apartment building, Frannie with the piles of debt hanging overhead,that Franniewould hide.
I was Frannie on the farm now. I needed to get back in the…
Well, you get the idea.
* * *
"So what's the deal with the relief barn?" I asked, not bothering to ask the question under my breath.
Taylor, an employee of the farm and the first person I'd made a beeline for this morning when I'd shown my face in the canteen, snorted and flipped her red pigtails back over her shoulders. She really leaned into the whole "milkmaid" look, right down to an apron over her full skirt, and about seventy-five percent of the monsters in the canteen stared at her as she passed them in the aisles. I was outrageously jealous of her until she told me she was really only interested in the bipedal monster varieties.
"It's just a big ole masturbation station," she said, chomping down on a carrot, making a naga who'd been slithering in her direction flinch and turn away. "Mostly for the centaurs who can't really take care of themselves. Big stalls with suction tubes?—"
"Suction tubes?!" I cried out.
"—that we hitch them up to," Taylor continued, shrugging. "They're constantly trying to get us to give them handies to get started. As if every monster on this farm isn't here because they're justburstingat the seams to fuck. Most well-sprung cocks in the world."
I licked my lips and Taylor laughed at the heat on my cheeks.
"God, are you just getting fucked left and right?" she asked me. "You're as bad as they are."
"Only twice," I said with a wave of my hand. Taylor hummed in sympathy. "Did you…happen to see a new centaur in the relief barn recently? Umm, tall, big draft body, tattoos?"
Taylor smirked. "Ohhh,him. Yes, real southern gentleman too. Got himself all locked and loaded without so much as asking me for a lift up. He's got one more session today and then I think he's set to be released into the general population."
I bit my lip and sat up, clasping my hands in front me. Taylor rolled her eyes. "Can you do me an eensy teensy favor?" I asked, sugaring my voice as much as I was able. It was a little hoarse from all my shouting yesterday.
Taylor sighed, resting her chin in the palm of her hand. "You wanna hitch him up this afternoon?"
My mouth hung open. I'd meant to ask her to put in a word and get me on the job board with him. But this was…
"Hitch him up…to the…suction tube?" I asked, pressing my thighs together.
Taylor shrugged. "I can get you into his stall. What happens after I close the doors is…" She waggled her eyebrows.
