Page 16 of My Knight Before Christmas
But he never gave me the option to choose. I worried Liam would shut me out again the next time a family issue came up. My voice came out soft. “I have forgiven you.” Tears filled my eyes. “But I don’t trust you. And that’s why I’ve been reluctant to date you again.”
His shoulders caved in. “If you can’t trust me, does that mean we’re over?”
My tears spilled over. I quickly swiped at them, not wanting Liam to see. As for us? I didn’t know. I was willing to see if we could learn to trust one another again. But how long would it take? And was it worth the risk? “We need to take things one day at a time. But I also can’t have you feeling like everything you do is to make up for the past. It wouldn’t be fair to either of us.”
He checked his side mirror before moving over a lane. “I will try to forgive myself so we can have a clean slate. And I can assure you everything I’m doing right now is because I want to. I care for you, Avery. I did then and I do now.”
So, he felt our easy connection as well? Like my soul had found its missing piece that made me the best version of myself?
I chewed the inside of my cheek. “Well, I don’t exactly want a clean slate. I want to remember every good part from our time before.”
He reached over, slipping his fingers between mine until our palms connected, our fingers intertwined. A familiar warmth seeped into my bones, reminding me this was where I belonged.
“I agree,” he said. “Otherwise, how would I know you love Tillamook and despise store brand ice cream? Or love all sorts of flowers but prefer the scent of lilac? That you’ll watch basketball with me even though you like football more?”
I rolled my eyes. “I only watched one game with you.” For our fifth date, Liam invited me to his place to watch the Celtics. The game was endurable because I’d nestled myself into his side. I missed that. The way my head fit perfectly on his chest while his arm draped around my shoulder, his hand resting on my hip.
I thought he’d kiss me that night. I put out every signal: licking my lips, glancing at his, indicating I hadn’t kissed anyone in a while. He didn’t take my bait.
I discovered Liam didn’t casually date. When he met someone he liked, he went all in. For him, that meant taking things slooooowwwww. He’d told me he only had two serious ex-girlfriends. No one else ever made it past the second date.
While waiting was equivalent to mid-evil torture devices, the pay-off was euphoric. A swirl of feathers fluttered around in my stomach as I recalled his lips on mine. The way he placed his hands on my ribcage, pulling me toward him. I shivered at the rush of tingles that danced through my limbs.
Which is why it hurt even more when he stopped talking to me.We’re moving on, Avery. Focus on the positive, like all the sweet things Liam has done recently.
“That game was awesome,” he said, as if he were reliving it again.
“They lost.”
“I know.”
“So why—“
His pointed stare told me everything.Okay, then.
Eight
Wepulledintotheparking lot of the beach closest to my house. The late-September sun hung half-way toward the western horizon. The waves glistened in the distance. Very few beachgoers dotted the shoreline. A family, bundled in jackets, flew a red and yellow kite high above their heads.
I unbuckled my seat belt. “What are we doing here?” It wasn’t typical beach weather.
“You’ll see.” He climbed out of his Jeep. “Wait a second,” he said before closing his door.
Liam walked around the car, opening my door for me. I never released his hand while we were driving, only letting go once we parked. Deciding to keep the connection, I wrapped my fingers around his as we walked in comfortable silence down the wooden boardwalk. The slats creaked under our steps. A stiff breeze blew my hair to the right, toward Liam. It was a good thing I hadn’t worn a dress like Anna told me to. Otherwise, I’d be giving everyone at the beach a peep show.
“You might want to take your boots off for this.” Liam pointed to my feet.
I pulled off my black booties and socks. The cold sand tickled between my toes as we walked across the beach. Liam led us to a fallen log nestled between the waves and boardwalk. After swiping the sand away so I didn’t get my pants filthy, I sat close enough to Liam that our sides touched from shoulder to knee.
Salt mixed with brine filled my nostrils. The rushing sound of waves crashing ashore spoke to my soul, lending me its strength and surety.
“This is the first time I’ve been to the beach since I flew home.” Liam kept his volume low.
“It’s one of my favorite places on earth.”
He gazed at the horizon. “Growing up, we didn’t have a lot of money, so it wasn’t until I moved here that I saw the ocean for the first time. I fell in love instantly.”
The ocean was a part of me, as much as my hazel eyes were. “I know why I love coming here, but what made you like it so much?”
