Page 103 of His North Star
Ty who came to my rescue time and time again.
Ty who showed up whenever I needed him most.
He pulled away from my hand. “Because if you didn’t feel the same way, it would ruin everything. At the time, I wasn’t ready to lose you as a friend.”
If he only knew how much I’d agonized over this very thing. Of course, if either one of us had been brave enough to admit our feelings, our lives could have been so different. Blast that Charlie for knowing us both so well.
I looked down at my lap. “Why now?”
He was right. This would change everything.
Potentially for the best.
Possibly for the worst.
Tears stung my eyes. Was I willing to risk our friendship? The one thing keeping me going right now?
“When you got engaged to Blake, a part of me died. I loved you too much to stay away, but you couldn’t see the envy consuming me. I wanted it to bemeyou whispered I love you to.Mewho you kissed goodnight. When he was out of the picture, I thought I’d swoop in and show you how I felt. But you were too heartbroken to see clearly. Lys and I were already dating. I figured it couldn’t hurt to stay with her a little while longer until you were ready.
“It never worked. I never should have used her that way. I regret how I treated her.” He ran his hands up and down his thighs. “All those times you kept asking me why I couldn’t confide in you? It was because I was in love with you. What was I supposed to say when you were already struggling? If I told you why Lys and I would never work, our friendship would be ruined. I’m still terrified it might be after tonight.
“Then, when you and James started seeing one another, I almost gave up hope. I couldn’t believe my luck when his job was too demanding and the dates he planned with you got to be with me instead. It seemed fate was telling me we were meant to happen.”
Every word slammed into me. He hid his feelings too well. Or I didn’t bother to look for them, because I never dreamed this day would come. The hints everyone else dropped were too far-fetched. Too out of the realm of possibility to consider for long.
“What happened in college that changed your mind?” I scooted back on the tailgate, bringing my legs up until my knees bent facing the sky, my arms wrapping around my legs.
“There’s truth to the old adage that absence makes the heart grow fonder. Every day away made me miss you. No one else measured up to you. Trust me, I’ve tried finding a woman, but my heart belongs to you. It always has. It’s just taken me a long time to realize it.”
I shook my head. We talked or texted every day while we were away at college. We saw one another every holiday break. There had to be more to it than that.
“So that’s it? Gettingawayfrom me made you fall in love with me?“ Shouldn’t falling in love happen when you’re together? Had he imagined some version of me that didn’t exist?
“That’s not exactly what I meant.”
“What did you mean, then?”
“I’ve always compared any woman I’ve dated to you. Most of the time, there was enough interest to keep me invested in those other relationships. But they always fell apart. No one understood me quite like you do. Senior year of college, when I dated Sarah Jenson, she saw one of our text threads. She asked me if I would give you up if she and I got married.
“Her words were like a knife to my heart. Give you up?” he scoffed. “The answer slammed into me. Never. I could never not have you in my life. And that’s when things changed for me.”
“That’s when you fell in love with me?” I furrowed my brow. Because someone else said they’d want him to give me up? Like an addiction he had to quit? Of course not. I knew Ty. I was just reeling from his confession, seeking answers and explanations.
He continued, “The day I moved back home, and you came to see me. . . Ah, man. I’d never been so excited to see you before. I almost told you then and there. The fear of losing you completely plagued me, though, and sadly won out.”
I understood the fear of keeping silent, it was one of the reasons I’d kept my mouth shut. But if he had loved me for so long, why did he force me to go out on dates?
“Hold up.” I held up a hand. “Why did you try to set me up with all those losers?”
He let out a heavy sigh. “I was trying to get you to move past Blake. Granted, I didn’t know about his abuse at the time. If I had, I’d have done everything differently. But I purposely chose guys I knew you wouldn’t like. I was trying to help, but sabotage at the same time. It’s messed up, I know. I’ve done a lot of stupid things in the name of love.”
“Why did you agree to set me up with James? You never answered when I asked before.”
He snorted. “Believe me, I didn’t want you to date him. I truly only wanted him to meet you as a friend. Lys and I had a fight over it. The night we all went to dinner was supposed to be with a bigger group. I warned him multiple times you weren’t available. Guess he didn’t care.”
It didn’t matter now. “We never even kissed, you know.”
“You didn’t?”
