Page 105 of His North Star
A soft whine that started in my heart burbled its way out of my throat. Why couldn’t he have waited a few more months? I was on the express train of mixed feelings, and every exit I wanted to take shot past me without the possibility of getting off to examine the options.
He laughed once, hard and without humor. “In my head, tonight went differently.”
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“No.” He shook his head. “This is on me. A better man would know you’re not ready.”
I hopped off the tailgate and stood before him, placing a hand on his back. “You’re the bestest friend in the universe. I know exactly how you feel, because I agonized over this exact thing when we were in high school. It’s not easy taking that leap of faith. You at least had the guts to do it.”
He scoffed. “Yeah, four years later.”
“Give yourself some credit. It’s better than me. I never said anything.”
He stepped away from me. “Why didn’t you ever say anything?”
I stared into the velvety darkness. The reasons piled up:
He had only liked me as a sister.
Losing him wasn’t an option.
His endless string of girlfriends.
My attempt to get over him by dating anyone willing.
“I had a plan to tell you. I set out to find you one day during lunch our sophomore year, but I overheard you and Justin talking. You told him you gave him permission to ask me out because you only saw me as a sister. I was crushed, but realized it was better to have you as a friend than not at all.”
“I wish I had realized I loved you sooner,” he said in a sad tone.
This man was truly my everything. He’d already proven how much he cared for me over the years.
I needed some space—by myself—to get my heart, head, and emotions in alignment.
“Let’s go get some sleep,” Ty said, hurt.
“You brought your nose strips, right?”
“You’re unbelievable.”
Just because he’d bared his soul did not mean I wanted to listen to a bear fight all night. “I brought some in case you forgot.”
He led me to the passenger seat, pointing that I get in. Hopping into the truck, I clicked my seatbelt in place. I jumped at the slam of the tailgate closing. Ty made quick work of the drive back to the lodge. Not long after, we lay side by side on the king-size bed, Ty with the comforter from the closet snug against him.
Ty’s whisperedyourepeated in my mind. The late hour and exhaustion from work pulled me under Hypnos’s spell. A brushing against my hand stirred me. Ty had found my hand in the dark. He threaded his fingers through mine. A flow of warmth seeped into me.
Ty was synonymous with belonging. Home. Safety. Love.
Why didn’t I just say yes?
CHAPTER 27
“That’squitethegetawayyou had,” Mom said.
“I know,” I moaned.
Mom’s fingers slid through my hair in a soothing motion. The first thing I did after Ty dropped me off this afternoon was to go see her. My head rested in her lap on the couch. She used to do this when tucking me into bed at night. The motion was like the calming waves of the lake.
“You’re scared. That’s what’s really holding you back,” Mom said.
