Page 106 of His North Star
Scared didn’t even cover it. Petrified at least scratched the surface. My entire life had been a wash where my love life was concerned. Ty was to me as the sun was to our solar system. Without him, I couldn’t breathe. My life would be completely calamitous. And because of that, allowing myself to love him with the risk of losing him hurt my heart. My soul. My everything.
But by not taking things to the next level, I’d lose him anyway. Wouldn’t I?
“I need a breath or two to sort my heart out.”
“Do you love him?” she asked.
“You know I do. It’s not a matter of if I love him, it’s a matter of making sure I’m willing to risk losing him. And doesn’t he deserve someone who’s not so broken?”
“He’s been there for you through the ups and downs. What in the history of your friendship has he ever done to prove to you he didn’t want you?” Mom gently pulled me up by my shoulders so she could see my face. “Don’t let fear govern your choice. Be bold. Be brave. And don’t lose out on what could be the greatest relationship you’ve ever known.”
“What if—“
“Don’t,” Mom warned. “What if you died tomorrow? What if you got hurt in a car accident? What if you found out you had a tumor and had months to live? Living life means taking chances. Have faith and trust that whatever happens, you’ll get through it. From experience, I can tell you, living in fear isn’t living at all.”
My muscles contracted into a ball of worry. I already had one Montgomery man walk out on me. There would be no coming back from this one. “I can’t lose him,” I said desperately.
“One day he’s going to get married. If his bride isn’t you, then you’ll already have lost him.”
I had come to the same conclusion when Blake and I were engaged. Ty would always be a part of my life, yet naturally, a separation would occur. It no longer became a question ofifI could survive losing Ty. The question became: could I watch him marry someone who wasn’t me?
No.
No, I could not. Because I loved Ty, and I wanted that dream. I wanted the house, the kids, the partnership. I’d been in love with him for eleven years. There was no way in the universe I’d be able to sit by and watch him say “I do” to anyone other than me, because he was all I ever wanted. With every fiber of my being, that truth solidified.
IlovedTy.
It was time to make him mine.
CHAPTER 28
I sat in the bed-and-breakfast’s office, filing new hire paperwork for Claire. I already had steak marinating in my fridge, potatoes washed and ready to be baked, as well as Ty’s favorite dessert, peach cobbler, ready to go for tonight. After our dinner, I’d drive him to our old high school and let him teach me how to play rugby. Hopefully, his hands-on demonstration would end in our first kiss, with an encore performance when he dropped me off at home.
My phone buzzed. I glanced at the screen, and Charlie Montgomery’s smiling face from three summers ago at our family barbeque filled the frame. Why was Charlie calling?
I put the phone on speaker. “Hello?”
“Ren,” Charlie shouted frantically, “Ty’s had an accident. He’s on his way to the hospital.”
It was as if someone had taken my heart to use in batting practice. My lungs tightened. I squeaked, “Is he okay?”
“I don’t know. His friend James called me and told me to get to the hospital. I’m an hour away. Can you get there faster?”
I pushed my chair back, standing so quickly it fell over with a loud crash. I thudded up the stairs to grab the first set of keys I could find. I swiped them up while telling Charlie in a strained voice I was on my way.
What happened to Ty? What kind of accident? Would he be okay?
Please, let him be okay.
I drove like a maniac and beat the ambulance. When I got to the registration desk, they told me he was five minutes out. I paced the once-white linoleum, holding back the gag the hospital always induced within me. The lingering scent of bleach burned my nose.
I hated it here.
My tennis shoes squealed with every pivot. With shaking fingers, I managed to text Landon where I had gone. I’d ditched work without a backward glance. Some manager I was.
When the blare of sirens filtered through the door, I ran out to greet it, my heart pounding in my chest so hard I worried I’d need medical attention. “Ty!” I shouted in panic. “Ty! Is he okay?” I asked the paramedic who scrambled out of the back of the ambulance. “I need to see him.” I edged my way toward the gurney.
A nurse stopped me. “Please stay out of the way, miss. Medical personnel only.”
