Page 35 of His North Star
His lips puckered as the wheels spun behind his eyes. His thinking face was adorable. I could kiss those lips until they smiled.What was wrong with me?
“What’s really going on?” James asked.
My ex-fiancé and I had stood atop Mt. Everest for eight months before he not only pushed me off the edge, but cackled as I fell. Tears pricked my eyes. I couldn’t tell him what Blake said. The wounds were too deep.
“Really, we should stay friends.” My voice wavered with emotion.
“I meant what I said before. I don’t want you to leave.”
Were we dragging out the inevitable? If so, what would be the point of staying? I didn’t want to lead him to believe our outcome would be any different from my previous failed relationships. But Mom’s words echoed in my mind. Someone out there would love all of me. If I ran away each time, I would never find out.
“If I stay, will you put a shirt on?” My voice came out tight, breathless.
His low laugh rumbled in the small space between us.
His eyes roamed over my face. “I don’t know. I like seeing your flushed cheeks.” Desire
blazed in his eyes, sending my stomach aflutter.
I stepped back, a small smile on my lips. “I’ll stay. But please, a shirt?” The yearning to kiss him burned with a fierce intensity.
“All right, beautiful. I’ll be back.”
I sat on his uncomfortable couch while he dashed up the stairs.
If he only knew about Blake. Why couldn’t I just tell him? As people always say, words never hurt. What a lie.
Blake’s words hurt the most. He claimed to love me when he spat out that I was alittle nobody. Useless. Not good enough. Stupid.So why wouldn’t his words be true? He told me those things for my own good, or so he said.
How did one learn to trust again? Maybe if I told Ty what Blake said, he’d be able to help me navigate this new relationship with James.
Feet pounded down the stairs, then James walked into the living room, fully clothed and hair wet.
“Did you shower?” I asked jealously. The chlorine tightened my skin and begged to be scratched off.
“Yeah. It doesn’t take me long when the need calls for it.” He wiggled his eyebrows at me.
“So when I tried to leave to take a shower, I got shot down. But it’s okay for you to get the chemicals off?” I asked accusingly.
He slid next to me on the couch, putting his arm along the back. In a low voice, he said, “Did you want to shower with me? It was rude not to offer.”
Heat ran from my chest to my stomach. Was he serious? “You don’t hold back, do you?”
My lungs seized as a memory of Blake kissing me after I’d gotten out of the shower, still standing in a towel, overtook me. He’d come to my apartment earlier than we planned for our date night, and when he started kissing me while I stood there practically naked, I pushed him away. I laughed at first because we were engaged, and I thought he was just being affectionate. But when he refused to leave my room, I was flustered. When I pushed against Blake’s chest harder, he finally relented, but he wasn’t happy about it.
“When we’re married, I’ll get to do what I want, when I want. You shouldn’t fight me on this now.”
I shivered and brought my focus back to James.
“Not when I know what I want.” James leaned closer, grazing his lips against my cheek.
My breath hitched. That sounded way too much like Blake. I jumped away. “How about we just talk for a little bit?” My words were tight.
He wouldn’t be like Blake. Right?
He sighed. “All right. What do you want to talk about?”
No, James wasn’t like Blake. Blake would never have stopped trying to kiss me so easily.
