Page 55 of His North Star
“Have you ever wanted a pet?” he asked.
“I would love a miniature goldendoodle. We can’t have them because of guests though. It’s too big of a liability.”
He smiled. “Why not move someplace else then?”
Again with the moving comments. What was his deal?
“I could. But I have the best commute in the world and it’s hard to give that up.” I grinned.
He laughed. “I don’t blame you. Although you do know when you get married and have kids of your own, you’re going to have to move.” He waved his arm around my cramped space.
“What?” I faked innocence. “We can totally squeeze in here. It’s like a palace.”
He stretched his arms wide, almost touching the kitchen island and archway into the living room at the same time. “Yep, it’s a castle.”
I laughed, moving toward him to tickle under his arms. He squirmed while laughing. My stomach flipped. My eyes darted to his lips. Over and over again. It was as if he had a magnet on his mouth, and the force was too much to resist. I started to lean in, closing my eyes in the process. Just as our mouths were about to connect, James’s phone rang, interrupting us.
I sat back in my chair, huffing out a breath.
He winced. “Sorry.” James picked up his phone. “Work.” He tapped the red dismiss button and set it back, face-down, on the kitchen table. “Where were we?”
“Actually. . .” I leaned away from him. “There’s something I want to talk to you about before we do that.” I pointed between our mouths.
It was time to lay down my terms.
CHAPTER 15
Leading James to the couch, I sat, facing him. I licked my lips before speaking. “Umm, my ex wasn’t the nicest.” Biggest understatement of my life. “My heart has taken a severe beating. I don’t want to make the same mistake I made with him. It’s why I haven’t wanted to rush into a relationship with you. But now that I’ve agreed, no more texting or phone conversations to tide us over for a month between visits. I’ll sacrifice sleep if I have to, but I can’t keep going as we are. If we’re dating, we need to actually date. In person.”
He spoke softly. “I understand that look in your eyes now.”
“What look?” I asked, confused.
“I’ve seen it in abused animals. There’s this tightness around your eyes. Like you’re constantly questioning your actions. Waiting for confirmation that others accept you. Falsely assuming they will leave you at your first display of weakness.”
He nailed it.
He nodded. “I’ll do my best to figure out work, Maren, but I’m at the bottom of the totem pole right now. I have zero sway in my schedule.”
“Thank you,” I whispered. “That’s all I ask. That we prioritize each other. Make sacrifices where needed to see each other.”
“Like I said, I’ll try. I can’t make any promises.”
Can’t or won’t? I understood not being able to rearrange his schedule just for me, but surely he wasn’t working every minute of every day.
“Okay. Thank you. Want to watch a movie or something until it gets dark?”
“Sure. What are you in the mood for?” he asked, patting the couch cushion next to him.
I snuggled in close, resting my head against his shoulder. He kissed the top of my head. His body heat warmed my insides.
“Something funny or bloody.”
“Bloody?” he asked, confused.
I smiled, despite the tenseness lingering throughout my body at asking James for more time together. “Yeah, it distracts me.”
“I see enough of that at work. Let’s go for some humor.”
