Page 75 of His North Star
“Doesn’t mean I’m not sorry. I wish I weren’t still bedridden so you could escape for a few days.”
I sniffled. “The timing of it all just sucks. It’s so close to the wedding that my emotions are all over the place.”
“What would you like to do on Saturday? I don’t want you working. We need to keep you busy and take your mind off it.”
I blew out a breath. “I don’t know. I can’t even think past the next hour.” What did one do to distract themselves from their ex?
“I understand.”
Mom soothingly stroked my hair until I fell into a much-needed sleep.
CHAPTER 19
I threw myself into work the next week, offering Landon any evening off that he wanted. After working my usual shift from six-thirty to three-thirty, I took a two-hour nap, then went back from six until midnight. Not that I really had to be at the front desk until midnight during the week, but it kept my mind busy and off the wreckage my love life had become.
I had our fall marketing campaign ready to go. The pantry and refrigerator were cleaned and organized, and all the papers in the office were filed.
My family insisted I take the day off, as today was the day Blake and I should’ve exchanged vows. Only the sun exploding would keep me at home by myself.
Landon caught me at the front desk with my cheek against the cold granite. My eyes were open, but my head, which weighed a ton, would not stay upright. Medicine and caffeine had done nothing to help.
My wedding. Blake. James. Ty.
Anger. Pain. Longing.
It never ended.
Anytime I glanced at the clock, I’d think,This was when Mom and I would be doing last-minute touches on our hair and makeup, orDad would’ve been waiting in the hall to speak with me before escorting me down the aisle. Now was the time we’d be standing in front of the altar.
All in all, it’d been a grand day of should-haves.
I was grateful I wasn’t marrying that monster. Mom was right though. I blamed myself for not seeing his lies. That part shattered my heart the most.
“Will you please go home?” Landon begged. “You don’t need to do this.”
I lifted my gaze to meet his, keeping my cheek on the counter. “I’m fine where I am.”
“You might be, but what if a guest sees you? It’s unprofessional. And you don’t look very well.”
I snorted. “Thanks, jerk.”
He sighed. “I know today is a hard one for you. Why don’t you order takeout and watch a movie or something? Or better yet, go talk to Mom.”
Yeah, that was a hard pass. She’d want to talk through my feelings and try to comfort me. I was too wrung out for that. “My shift is over”—I checked my watch with a grimace—“in thirty minutes. I’ll leave then.”
“Or”—he slid his hands under my armpits, lifting me to a sitting position—“you can go now.”
“Is this one of those times when resistance is futile?”
“Yes. So go easy on me and get out of here.” He thumbed over his shoulder.
“Fine, I’ll go.” I sighed. “But only because I have a headache.”
He rolled his eyes while pushing me out the door. My feet dragged as I made my way across the paved path to my apartment. The early August sun scorched my skin. Instead of changing out of my uniform, I went directly to the couch and lay down. I turned the TV on, not caring what I watched. Any noise to drown out the battle in my head would do. Thankfully, I’d stocked up on ice cream earlier this week, so at least I wouldn’t go hungry.
I hyper-focused on an indent in my wall. How long had that been there? Was it from moving furniture in? Should I take time to fill it in and paint it? Was it in as much pain as me? I would’ve stayed looking at the hole for another hour, but the TV pulled me from my stupor. A rerun ofFriendscame on. Out of the two hundred and thirty-six episodes, it had to beThe One with All the Wedding Dresses. I inhaled sharply. I still had my wedding dress hanging in the back of my closet.
When I told the store my engagement ended, they said in a fake, syrupy tone that, “All sales were final. You could sell it online or keep it for a different groom.”
