Page 97 of Holly versus Mr. Ivy
Running my hands through my hair, I fisted my fingers around the thick strands.Why didn’t she want me to help her?
Those awful lies my brain tried to convince me were truth harassed me day in and day out.She never loved you. No one will ever love you. You’re too broken.
I didn’t even know why I’d come into work. Aaron knew what he was doing, and we’d made our goal. We’d increased profits by 10.02 percent. By a hair, we’d made it, but made it we had. I was proud of Holly for all her work and the progress she had made. The staff had embraced the changes we’d made and shown up in a big way. Aaron had nailed our social media campaigns. Every goal I’d set for the restaurant, we’d achieved. For a while there, I’d honestly thought we wouldn’t make it. When I ran the numbers a few days ago and saw that double-digit number, the first person I wanted to run to was no longer here.
Without Holly, the victory was hollow.
The walls closed in around me. My throat seized up, making it hard to breathe. I couldn’t be in this room anymore. It reminded me of every second spent in here with Holly. When I’d kissed her up against the door. On top of my desk. In every chair.
Dots spotted my vision. I had to get out of here. But where would I go? My family was at my mom’s parent’s house forty minutes away. Jack was with Meg. The restaurant was full of strangers enjoying their holiday night with one another.
You’re alone. No one wants to be around you. You have no one to turn to.
I had to keep it together. Snatching my suitcoat and keys, I ran out of my office to Aaron’s down the hall. “Can you close on your own? I’m not feeling well.”
He looked startled at my abrupt entrance. “Are you going to be okay?”
“I’ll be fine,” I lied. “Must be something I ate earlier.”
“No problem. Merry Christmas.”
The only day of the year the restaurant was closed was on Christmas Day. “Merry Christmas, and thanks, Aaron. See you in two days.”
He waved, and I ran to my truck, driving at speeds not recommended in the snow lazily falling from the sky. Under normal circumstances, I’d stop and appreciate the white flakes making the Christmas lights brighter. It always seemed more like Christmas when it snowed.
Tonight, I couldn’t care less.
When I got home to my empty house, the darkness that wanted to claim me clouded my mind. Even though Jack was busy tonight, I needed to talk to someone. Get my mind off Holly and my pain.
Dialing Jack, I put my phone on speaker while sinking onto the couch.
“Rhett, man, what’s up?” Jack said cheerily. “Merry Christmas!”
He sounded so happy. I shouldn’t have called and put a damper on his holiday.
I cleared my throat. “Hey. Uh, just wanted to call and say Merry Christmas.”
“Meg, I’ll be right back,” Jack’s voice mumbled. In a clearer tone, he said, “I’m alone now. What’s really going on? You sound weird.”
I cleared my throat from the emotion lodging there. “Holly broke up with me.”
“Ah.” Jack let out a sympathetic groan. “Rhett, man, I’m so sorry.”
I swiped under my nose. “You told me to stay away. I should have listened.” Why hadn’t I listened? I may have missed out on four amazing weeks with the woman I’d come to love, but I wouldn’t be suffering with this all-consuming pain either.
“What exactly did she say?”
I repeated the words she’d spoken that ripped my heart out.
“Dang it, man, that sucks. But I wouldn’t give up on her completely. Maybe once things settle a bit, she’ll be in the headspace to let you back in.”
That was the problem, though. Instead of pushing me away, why not lean on me? Why shut me out when she’d promised she wouldn’t do that? “So, what, I’m just supposed to wait around for her to decide she’s ready to treat me like a partner?”
I could hear Jack’s smile. “If I had a pen, I’d chuck it at your head.”
I laughed, remembering when I’d done that to Jack. “You needed that wake-up call.”
“Yeah, and you need one now. From what you’ve told me about Holly, she’s never had someone to lean on. You can’t expect her to do that when you haven’t been dating long. In her experience, when life throws her bombs, she handles the explosion on her own. Give her a few days, and then reach out, letting her know you’re there, ready and willing to carry her through her shrapnel. If you offer a listening ear and keep showing up, eventually she’ll see she isn’t alone and you’ve got her.”
