Page 98 of Holly versus Mr. Ivy
“That sounds stalkerish,” I said dryly.
He snorted. “She’s probably going to push you away, but until she flat-out says to leave her alone, do not give up.”
I voiced my biggest worry. “And what if she says to leave her alone? That she really, truly is done with me?” How would I move on?
“Then I’ll be there to help you get through it.”
Jack always had my back. I appreciated his friendship now more than ever. “Thanks, man.” I swiped at the moisture gathering in my eyes.
“Are you going to be with your parents in the morning?”
“Yeah.”
“Good. I don’t want you alone tomorrow.”
As much as I would love to stay in bed all day, it wouldn’t be good for me. Getting up and out of the house was the best way to help me from being sucked into the depths of darkness. “I’ll be at your soft opening tomorrow night, too.”
His tone held a hint of worry. “Are you going to be okay tonight?”
I looked at my ceiling, wishing answers would magically appear. That a fortune teller would show up and tell me Holly would realize she made a mistake. “Yeah, I’ll be fine.” At least, fine enough that Jack didn’t need to leave Meg’s family to come sit with me. I’d just take some sleeping pills to stave off the pain.
“I’m calling you in the morning to make sure you’re up,” Jack warned.
He knew how likely it was I’d come up with an excuse to bail on seeing my parents. But then they’d start asking questions I didn’t want to answer. Christmas would be celebrated regardless of the lump of coal my life had become.
“Okay, I’ll talk to you then,” I said.
“K. Hang in there, man.”
Yeah, by a thread. “Thanks.”
Tossing my phone to the side, I let the tears I’d been trying to push back surface. Would Holly really want me to reach out to her? If I gave her time, would she want us to be together?Probably not. She can’t take care of her mom and you.She already said goodbye. Let it be.My life sucked snowballs.
Chapter 34
Holly
The“IceQueen”hadreturned in more ways than one. My heart froze in my chest, making it constantly ache. My appetite diminished. My tear ducts worked overtime. Missing caroling with Rhett’s family, meeting Jack at his bakery opening Christmas night, kissing Rhett on New Year’s Eve—I didn’t get to do any of the things we planned. Instead, I stayed in bed for two weeks, hugging my pillow and crying over Rhett. Skye’s betrayal. Losing my job.
The only time Christmas had sucked this bad was when Dad had passed away. A perpetual storm cloud hung over our house that year. We skipped our normal traditions because no one had the energy to pretend we felt the joy of the season.
The cloud returned but morphed into a thundersnow storm—a blizzard with lightning thrown in.
Even Noah couldn’t brighten my spirits, despite his efforts to bring my favorite donut, book, and movies over. As slow as a melting glacier, December morphed into January, which truly was the bleak midwinter. It arrived with frigid intensity. Just like the post-holiday blues where the nights were cold and dark without any lights, festivities, or presents to look forward to, I was back to the controlling, boundary-driven Holly.
My heart and soul were devoid of all joy. Dreariness and rigidity ruled my life.
Not even my fantasy romance novels kept my attention anymore. I went to George’s Steakhouse, worked my shift as the sous chef, came home and took care of Mom: exactly the way my life used to be.
I wasn’t the head chef capable of earning a Michelin star or James Beard award anymore, and I might be back to living within the strict rules I’d set for myself, but at least there was no possibility of someone betraying me. There was also no possibility of having someone love me like Rhett had. But I couldn’t let myself think about Rhett and what had happened. My bruised and battered heart had endured enough beatings. Continuing to poke at it would never let it heal properly.
Tossing my Kindle to the side of my bed, I shuffled off to Mom’s room to check on her, just to give myself something to do. Before Rhett, this routine of mine hadn’t bothered me. Now? The house seemed empty. Too quiet. But it was safe, and that was all that mattered.
I poked my head into Mom’s room. “Hey. Need anything?”
Mom rolled her eyes at me. “Holly.” She sighed in annoyance. “Where’s Rhett? Why has he stopped coming around? Did you two have a fight?”
Just hearing his name made my stomach clench with longing. “I don’t know where he is.” I purposely ignored her question about the fight.
