Page 20 of Fall With Me
“No, it’s fine.” He drops the fruit into the bucket. “Uh. It’s because of my ex. I have a hard time believing other people when they say they like being around him. Willow, that’s Finn’s mom, she chose a music career over us.”
My heart hurts like it’s being crushed by a compactor. I’m stunned. What do you say to someone whose spouse chose a career over their partner and son?
Dawson’s a good dad for thinking of Finn and how he’s doing. I hate how I can relate to Finn. That I know how it feels to have a mom not want you. “Oh, Dawson. I’m sorry. That’s awful. How is Finn doing with the separation?”
He tugs another apple from a branch. “We’ve been busy the last few weeks, which has helped, I think. Willow sets aside time every Sunday morning to video chat with him. She doesn’t want to be a mom, but she also doesn’t want to be completely cut off from Finn. She loves him.”
Does she though?
Did Mom ever love me?
I’m not sure. It seems selfish to me to choose drugs or music or anything else over your own kid. But what do I know? I’m not a parent. The demands and stress might be too much for some people. Myself included.
I shut out any real possibility of love and a family out of fear because of Mom’s choices. Because I know what it’s like to grow up without a mom or a dad. It sucks.
“Does Finn have aunts and grandparents? And if so, are they nearby? You mentioned Finn swimming with cousins last week. Is that why you came to Utah?” I’m really digging to find out if Finn will have a mother figure in his life. Something I wish I’d had besides Grammy. But since Mom was an only child, Grammy was all I had. I’m grateful for her and all she did to raise Carter and me, but I would have loved more women in my life.
“Yeah. I have two sisters local and my parents live in Sandy. They’ve been supportive, and they’ve offered to have Finn over whenever I need a break or help.”
Relief courses through me. I’m grateful Finn has extended family to rely on. It doesn’t make up for Willow not being there, but at least it’s someone. “He’s a good kid. I bet they’re glad you guys are home.”
“He is for the most part. Like any child, he has his moments that frustrate me.”
I lean into the ladder, balancing on my tiptoes, stretching my fingers to get the apples just out of my reach.
“Are you sure it’s only kids who irritate you?” I ask, my brows rising.
There are plenty of adults I’d love to deliver a swift kick to the behind. Carter is often one of them.
Dawson chuckles. “No. My sisters are high on the list.”
“AmIbugging you yet?”
Dawson smiles at me. “Nope.”
“I guess I need to try harder to get under your skin.”
“Is that all you’re trying to get under?”
Heat swirls low in my belly. “For now,” I say flirtatiously. Oh man, what am I doing? I should stop this before Dawson thinks I’m interested in him as more than a co–festival planner.
Dawson, thankfully, changes the subject. “What do you want for lunch?”
“I’m not sure. Are you in the mood for anything in particular? Or what’s something you know Finn would eat?” He’s the real variable in this equation.
Dawson’s head tilts from side to side like he’s weighing options. “I’m not craving anything in particular. We can see what Finn wants. But I’ll warn you, it will most likely be pizza or a hamburger.”
Neither are the healthiest, but I can make those work. “Sounds good to me.”
We pick apples until Finn’s complaints about being bored and hungry grow as big as the trees we’re working on. “Let’s call it a day. We’ve done quite a bit,” I say, counting the baskets we filled. Sixteen. Not too shabby for a few hours of work.
“Finn,” Dawson says. “What are you feeling like for lunch?”
“Pizza!”
Dawson shoots me atold you sosmile.
I smile back, acknowledging he knows his son.
