Page 38 of Fall With Me
Dawson seems to open up a whole lot easier than Carter, but if I have to whip out my detective skills to get more information from him, I will. “Because you missed your family?”
“Yeah, that was part of it.” He sighs. “The biggest issue was I had this idea in my head of what a home and family should be like, you know? And Willow and I never got there. Even though we lived out there mainly for her, she still never seemed happy. Willow and I wanted different things, and no matter how hard I forced us to work, it wasn’t going to happen.”
“Whatisan ideal family for you?”
“Call me old-fashioned, but it’s a mom and dad in the home, working as a team. It’s dinner together every night, movie nights on the weekend, camping trips, and holidays together. It’s raising our kids as a united front.”
Tears sting my eyes. I’m grateful I’m in front of Dawson and he can’t see my face right now. More than anything, Iwant that too. But I’m too afraid to have it. “I don’t think you’re old-fashioned.”
“Really?”
I’m tempted to look over my shoulder at him again, but I won’t risk another fall. “Why do you sound surprised?”
“Do you want the actual reason or the one I’m tempted to tell you?”
We’re in the middle of a dirt path, pine and aspen trees surrounding us on both sides. I spin around, pulling Dawson to the side of the trail. “The truth, please.”
He eyes me, stares off into the distance, then turns his gaze back to me. “I want the record to show what I’m about to tell you I haven't admitted out loud before. And the only reason I’m doing so now is because you’re way too easy to talk to. If you don’t like what I say, you should put up a deterrent, so I don’t find myself spewing my deepest, darkest secrets all the time. Understood?”
Dawson’s eyes are as dark as the tree trunks behind us. There’s vulnerability and pain etched in them. “I understand and won’t repeat anything you say to anyone.”
He rubs the side of his neck. “Willow promised for years to find a balance between music and family, but musicalwayswon. I guess when people tell me they want the same thing as me, I question their answer. Are they agreeing because they think it’s what I want to hear, or do they legitimately feel that way? Willow always said one thing and did another, especially when it came to Finn.”
I’ve struggled with Willow from the moment Dawson told me about her. But this? Her leaving hurt more than just Finn. How long did Dawson believe her lies? I want him totrust me. That’s not something automatically given though; it’s earned. And I promise to do everything I can to show Dawson he can trust me. I mean what I say and it’s not empty words.
I invade Dawson’s personal bubble, throwing my arms around his neck, doing my best to comfort him. To let him know Willow is an anomaly. I’m all in with this hug and there’s no turning back. I’m officially addicted. As a friend. I may want a family like Dawson, but I can’t risk the consequences if I turn out like Mom.
“I’m sorry you went through that. You deserve to be happy, Dawson.”
Dawson wraps his arms around my back. “Thank you.”
I breathe in his clean, fresh scent, soaking in the comfort of being in his arms, even though I meant to be the one cheering him up. Being held by him is like my heart is made of a mold and Dawson is melted steel being poured in, filling all the cracks and crevices, making me stronger than before.
My stomach lets out a growl. It sounds like an alien-monster howl. “I think I need some food in my system. Can we grab some dinner?”
Dawson smiles. “My sob story affected you that much, huh?”
Or the vomiting, but who’s keeping track? “One hundred percent. Yes.”
He steps away from me. “I should tell you about the time Willow said she’d join Finn and me for Christmas Eve dinner and never showed up.”
I slowly shake my head, my nostrils flare in fury. “The more I hear about her, the more I want to strangle her. Tell me more about you, please?”
“What do you want to know?”
“Everything.”
Chapter 18
Dawson
I’m out of blue vomit bags. I repeat, I am out of blue vomit bags.
“Are you sure you’re ready to drive back down the mountain?” I ask Chloe, worried about her.
“I’ll be fine. Maybe keep the windows open, though.”
Her coloring looks better but isn’t completely normal. The evening is passing fast, though, and it’s almost time for me to get Finn from my parents’ house. So I’m trusting that she’s good to go.
