Page 51 of Fall With Me
“Dawson?”
“Yes, Chloe?”
My pulse pounds in my ears. I can’t believe I’m about to do this. There’s a million and one risks, a bajillion reasons why I shouldn’t. Why keeping Dawson as a friend is better than nothing, but I ignore everything in favor of the one possible positive outcome. Because I can and will be different for Dawson and Finn. I won’t push us to do silly photo shoots, or focus on every imperfection I have, or fret over why Dawson might break up with me. We all deserve this chance to be happy. “Will you go out with me?”
“Like on a date?”
“You brought up your muscles, and I realized I can’t deny myself any longer.”
“What you’re saying is you want me for my body?”
Why yes, yes I do. And a lot more than that, too. “Is there any other reason a girl would ask a guy out?”
He chuckles. “You are ridiculous. But yes, I’ll go out with you on one condition.”
A pit forms in my stomach. A condition? “That I cook you dinner once a week?” I joke, but it lands flat.
“Ha. No, but that’s not a bad idea.”
My skin itches the longer he waits to tell me. “Lay it on me.”
His hand twists around the steering wheel. “With Finn, I need to be more careful.”
Agreed. “Makes sense. But I still haven’t heard the condition…”
“I can’t go out often or casually date like I did before becoming a dad. Whoever I bring into my life will need to be seen by Finn as my friend only until we determine we’ll work out. Then he can know we’re dating seriously.”
“Uhhh.” I rub the hand not being held by Dawson down my thigh. “Is it weird we’re talking so openly about this? I’ve never been in a relationship where we discussed our intentions before we actually went out.”
“I need you to know where I’m at. I also like how open and honest we are with each other. It speaks of a mature relationship between adults who understand there’s more at play than just having a good time.”
“I appreciate you being upfront with me. If we’re laying our cards on the table, you need to know I’ve never allowed myself to dream of marriage and children. Because of what my mom did to Carter and me, I assumed I’d become like her. I haven’t been willing to risk hurting a spouse or child, so I’ve stayed away. But tonight, seeing all those families, being there with you and Finn, it felt…right. Like you two are who I’ve been waiting for all this time. You are who I’m meant to take this leap of faith with.”
Dawson pulls his hand out of mine, running it through his hair. I miss the contact, but I get it. This is a difficult conversation and what little space we can get while riding in the car is probably for the best as we talk this through.
“I have a son, Chloe. To me dating now means I’m considering the long-term goal with any woman I go out with. If marriage isn’t something youtrulythink you can do someday, I have to say no to going out.”
My lungs struggle to work properly. My breaths come out short and choppy. I like Dawson more than I’ve liked any man before. And while this discussion is freaking me out, I get why Dawson is bringing this up. But he needs to seewhen I said I want to take this leap of faith with him, I’m dedicated to both him and Finn.
I denied myself the option of a husband for so long. Opening myself up to the possibility is exhilarating and frightening.You’re not Mom. You can do this.I’ll need patience—a lot of it as I work to overcome my doubts.
I pick at the seam of my jeans. “I’m not asking for anything casual, but I would like us to go slow. This is new for me, and different for you because of Finn.”
“I know, and we will.”
As frightened as I am about not being perfect and screwing things up, I’m also ecstatic about chasing after my dream. To let myself go all in, particularly with Dawson.
“Good.” I bob my head once. “Because I really like you and can’t imagine you being with someone else. It makes me stabby.”
“Stabby?” He quickly glances at me, his brows pulling together.
“Yeah, like I want to stab any other woman you’d be with.” With a triton like mermaids have.
He laughs, reaches over, and grabs my hand again. “I like knowing you’re the jealous type.” He brings our joined hands up to his mouth, placing a kiss on the back of my hand.
Butterflies go wild in my stomach. It’s such a simple gesture. One I adore and want more of. “So we’re dating? You don’t even want to see how the first date goes before deciding you want me?”
“I’ve known since I met you there was something special about you.”
