Page 56 of Fall With Me
Her eyes go wide and she sharply shakes her head. “No! Oh my goodness, I’m sorry. That came out wrong. I love kissing and know what you’re missing out on. I don’t want you to go another two years without experiencing the joy of a make-out session. But my likes don’t have to be yours.Youaregood enough, Chlo. You’re one of the best people I know. Forget I said anything.”
I can’t look at Kate. Not because of what she said. I’m well aware of how much she loves kissing guys. It’s because it requires me to be vulnerable, which is extremely difficult for me. Staring at the carpet that’s more brown in some spots than tan, I fist my shaky hands, placing them in my lap. It’s time to reveal the second thing I’m most scared to admit. “What if I mess up?” I whisper.
Kate’s hand lands on my shoulder. “Oh, sweetie. You will.”
I scoff. “Jeez, thanks for believing in me.”
“I’m not saying it’s because of who you are, or your past. It’s because we all have moments when we inadvertently do something to hurt the person we’re with. It’s owning up to your mistake, apologizing, and trying harder that makes a relationship work. If everyone ran the moment things got hard in a relationship, the human race would be extinct.”
“You know I’m not good at relationships.” I pushed too hard or didn’t invest enough into my previous boyfriends. Frankly, I was a mess. Either one extreme or another, all out of fear of being imperfect. “Remember Ricky, Samuel, Thomas, Cole, and Drake?”
“Wrong. You were too scared to truly give them a chance. We’ve been friends for far too long for the relationship comment to be true. You’re the bestest best friend a girl could ask for.”
I shoot her a dry look. “I’m pretty sure it’s because ofyourtenacity that we’re still friends.”
She flips her hair over her shoulder. “Duh, of course.” She rolls her eyes at me. “But it’s also because ofyou. You’refunny, loyal, hardworking, passionate, caring, and generous. Anyone you allow into your inner circle is lucky to be there.”
Tears pool in my eyes. Kate’s words sink into my heart, reassuring me that I am lovable. Capable of more than I give myself credit for. I reach over and give her a quick hug. “Thank you, Kate. Thank you for being my friend and not letting me push you away.”
“Psh.” She smacks my shoulder. “I should be thanking you for dealing with me. I’m not easy to be around.”
What!? That’s a straight-up lie. “Who said that?” Momma bear is about to come out. You don’t mess with my friend. “You’re an absolute delight.”
She shakes her head. “It doesn’t matter. What we need to figure out is what you’re wearing Saturday night.”
“Easy. My Utah hoodie from college and black leggings.”
Her eyes bug out of her head. “Why in the world would you show up to your first date with Dawson looking like a frump?”
I hold back my laugh. Kate wouldn’t be caught dead wearing anything older than two years. She’s too fashionable for that. “Because it will be late when I show up. We’re watching a movie and I want to be comfortable.”
She drags me from my living room down the hall to my bedroom. Throwing aside the sliding closet doors, she shuffles through my hangers. “I don’t care. We’ll find something cute, comfortable, and sexy. Dawson will beg for a kiss at the end of the night.”
The man has seen me vomiting. Since he still wants to be around me, I highly doubt he’ll care what I show up in. For now, I’ll appease Kate, but I won’t promise to wear whatoutfit she chooses for me. Saturday night, depending how I’m feeling, I’ll determine what to do.
Lying back on my bed with my hands behind my head, I cross one ankle over the other. “Don’t mind me. I’ll be here relaxing while you work your magic.”
“Better buckle up, princess. You’re going to slay this date.”
We’re watching a movie. How does one screw it up? “Thanks, darling. With your help, I’m sure I will.”
Chapter 26
Chloe
The entire time during Finn’s football game this morning, all I wanted was to reach over and grab Dawson’s hand. Pretending we’re status quo in front of Finn will take more patience than I anticipated. I get the reasoning behind the request and agree wholeheartedly it’s what’s best for Finn, but I struggled. I sat with my hands stuffed under my legs the entire time so I wouldn’t reach out to Dawson.
Dawson shifted in his seat frequently and kept his arms folded across his chest as if he, too, were having a difficult time not reaching out for me. But we made it. Finn did great, and Dawson and I had time to discuss what movie to watch tonight.
We settled onKnives Out.
Dawson assured me it isn’t scary and has humorous parts as well. I’m excited to watch it, snuggled into Dawson on his couch. This time, we can share a blanket and I can have as many hugs as I want.
Kate was right. It has been a while since I’ve had a boyfriend, or someone I felt comfortable enough with to cuddle and kiss. I’m nervous that the moment Dawson and I lock lips, an insatiable need for physical affection will overpower me. I won’t be able to think or do anything except have Dawson hold me, feed me nachos, tell me I’m pretty, then kiss me into oblivion.
Would he protest?
Guess I’ll find out after the Utah football game is over.
