Page 6 of The Perils of Pretending
I’ll never understand why a grown man needs a buddy to hold his hand just to be around his family. [eye roll emoji]
Lucy
This could be the start of your own brother’s-best-friend love story!!
Avery
Absolutely not. Dani is on a deadline!
Dani
Dani is an adult and can make her own decisions! But yes, in addition to talking in third person, Dani is on a deadline and trying to get ready for Oregon. Know I love you and am there in spirit!! [blow kiss emoji]
I react to Dani’s message with a heart emoji then type:
Ugh, Lucy, not every situation is a romance trope come to life. [eye roll emoji] I’ll suck it up. But you allwillbe hearing from me a LOT the next two weeks as I deal with the Buttcombes and Max. Prepare to be spammed with rants! P.S. Kaden sucks.
It’s been years since Kaden has pulled a prank on any of us girl cousins. He kind of doesn’t deserve our continued annoyance with him, but it's a habit at this point to end our conversations about how much Kaden sucks. Because when we were little, he'd do dumb things like put plastic wrap over the toilet seat so our pee would get all over us and the floor. Some habits are hard to break.
Rolling my last bag down the uneven sidewalk to the curb where Mom is waiting, I load my small suitcase in the back of her car. Max closes the back gate of Mom’s SUV and climbs in the middle row with me. A whiff of cedarwood drifts my way as Max and I buckle up. Mmm. It reminds me of the lumber yard at the home improvement store. I love that scent.
Speaking of smells, is it too much to hope I’m somehow seated next to a stranger on the plane who smells as good as Max and not someone who hasn’t used shampoo, toothpaste, or deodorant in the past week?
One of my biggest issues with flying is who I’ll be sitting next to. It’s a mile-high version of Russian roulette. I have sensory superpowers andthere’s nothing worse than being stuck next to a stinky person for hours on end with no escape.
If only I’d stopped working and listened to Grandma, I wouldn’t be in this mess. The thing is, once you tell Grandma you’ll do something, you do it. There’s no backing out. Brody once told her when he was a teen that he’d fly up to Alaska to help go through Grandpa’s things after he passed away. Except he started a job as a lifeguard at the local water park, and they refused to give him any time off that summer. Grandma Alice called five times a day, telling him she was deducting a hundred dollars from his college fund for every week he didn’t show. Brody eventually quit his job because the amount Grandma set aside for schooling for each grandchild was way more than Brody would make working a minimum wage job.
I remember how torn up Brody was about the whole situation. The thing is, Grandma seems more than willing to dole out money, but she then holds her “help” over your head and guilts you into doing what she wants. How Mom doesn’t see it that way confuses me. But Mom was married to Grandma’s son, so maybe there isn’t as much control like there is with Brody, Poppy, and me.
And it’s not like I can block Grandma’s phone number either (the temptation is real). She’s my blood relative. Dad would roll in his grave if I treated his mom that way. And I do feel slightly beholden to her for paying for my six years of college. After Brody’s situation, I almost refused Grandma’s money, but I couldn’t. I always planned to start my own editing business, and being in debt and trying to launch an independent career at the same time wasn’t a good idea. So, I took her money. But it’s why this whole situation is messed up. It would make life a lot easier if Grandma paid for things without the expectations tied to her “gifts.” We’d actually want to be around her instead of being forced.
I have to keep reminding myself of the positives here. I will get to work on the bucket list and feel closer to Dad than I have since he passed away.That is my prize and reason for going. This is what will help me deal with Grandma and Max.
Max
The moment Sadie clicks her seatbelt into place next to me in the middle row of her mom’s car, Sadie’s questioning begins. “So, Max,” Sadie says, putting sunglasses on to hide the lasers shooting out of her eyes. “Why are you joining us for ourfamilyvacation? Is it because Daphne and Amelia are staying home?”
I hold back my chuckle at the way Sadie emphasizes family. It really bugs her to think of me like that.
I glance at my best friend sitting in the front passenger seat. Why didn’t Brody tell her I was coming on the flight? Probably to mess with her. I grin. No wonder she looked panicked when I answered the door. Especially if she thought I was coming as Brody’s plus-one since his wife and daughter aren’t going to the family reunion because of how far along Daphne is in her pregnancy. “Sorry to disappoint you, princess, but I’m not joining you. My grandparents live in Anchorage. I’m heading up for a quick visit.”
“Ah. I see.” She stares straight ahead.
If she thinks this will deter me from talking to her, she is sorely mistaken. I love nothing more than teasing her. She’s like a little sister to me and I can’t help trying to get a reaction from her. She makes it so easy and worthwhile. “Are you excited about your trip?”
Michelle merges onto the road, heading toward the freeway.
Sadie pulls her sunglasses down just enough that I can see her eyes. “Has Brody mentioned anything about our dad’s side of the family?”
“Plenty of times,” Brody chimes in from the front.
It’s true. I know all about the pretentious Ashcombe family. How Brody got his college paid for, but at the expense of being stuck under his grandma’s thumb, or how she guilts them for staying in Utah rather than moving back to Alaska so she’s not all alone.
Sadie shifts, facing me as well as she can in the tight space of the middle row. “This family reunion is like going to a theme park where, in theory, it sounds amazing, but in reality, you get whiplash and motion sick on every ride.”
“I have nothing to complain about.”
“There’s no need to compare one awful situation to another.” She uses her pointer finger to slide her glasses up her nose. “But why are you worried about seeing your family?”
