Page 64 of The Perils of Pretending
“I need a refresher,” Sadie says sternly.
I give her a look like she’s ruining my odds. Sadie ignores me, directing her gaze to the waitress, awaiting advice on how to get to the meat. The waitress demonstrates, then sets a crab on each of our plates.
“Wait.” Sadie puts a hand up. “Before we dig in, Mom, you keep track of how many crabs Max eats and I’ll do the same for Brody. That way, there’s no cheating.”
I’m not sure if it’s because Sadie knows me well or if it's because she knows Brody will try to fudge numbers, but she’s smart to think of that.
Michelle pulls out her phone. “I’ll keep a tally on my phone.”
“On your mark, get set, go!” I holler, using my cracker to break into the crustacean on my plate. I barely chew. The prize isn’t a lot, but it’s bragging rights. It’s beating my best friend because he won last time and I want to be even.
Michelle and Sadie chatter. Laugh about the mishaps of not cracking their crab limbs hard enough. Leisurely take note of how many crabs Brody and I eat. All my focus is on eating. I take a quick peek at Brody’s stack of discarded shells and compare it to mine. I think we’re close, but without counting each one, I can’t be certain.
Soon, my stomach signals it’s full. But I won’t stop until Brody does.
“I don’t know if the kitchen can keep up with you two,” Michelle says, waiting for more crab to come out.
“It’s like a crime scene.” Sadie gestures to the empty carcasses piling high on our table. “It’s gross seeing how fast these two eat, but I also can’t look away.”
I extract the last bit of meat from the current crab on my plate, dunk it in butter, then stuff it in my mouth. Warm butter drips down my chin, seeping into my facial hair. “It’s so good.”
“Uh, Max.” Sadie points to her own chin. “You’ve got a little something right there.”
“I know. I’m saving it for later.”
Sadie and Michelle laugh.
I grab a napkin, mopping up the butter from off my face.
The waitress brings the next round of crabs out. I get three more in, but if I eat another bite, I’ll explode.
I push my plate away from me. “I’m done.”
Brody smiles at me like I’m a wimp. He pounds down three more crabs before tapping out himself. “I don’t want to look at another crab for at least a year.”
I kind of feel the same. But I also love seafood so I won’t make any promises. “How’d we do?”
Michelle counts the tally marks on the notes app on her phone. “Nineteen for Max.”
It feels like that number should be a lot higher. At least, my bulging stomach thinks so.
“What about me, Sadie?” Brody asks, wiping his fingers on a napkin.
Sadie looks at me with a sad smile. “Twenty. You win, Brod.”
Brody stands, raising his arms in the air, his hands in fists. “Yeeessss! I’m the master of eating contests. In your face, man.”
I moan. My stomach is stretched as big as a watermelon. “By one?” That’s it? I’m disappointed I couldn’t tuck in one more. But there is no way I can get anything else in my belly. “I think my crabs were bigger.” Brody rolls his eyes. “Dang. Well, I concede. You are the champion.”
I pull out a twenty dollar bill from my wallet and throw it on the table.
“Good job, guys,” Sadie says. “You got your money’s worth here tonight.”
“How many did you ladies get down?”
“Four for me,” Michelle says.
Sadie holds up a hand. “I managed five. I probably should have stuck with four, but I enjoyed every bite and don’t regret my choice.”
