Page 77 of The Perils of Pretending
I open the door, singing, “Happy birthday to you…”
Max groans, rubbing his eyes.
“Really, Sadie?” Brody whines, throwing his blankets off of him. “You couldn’t have waited until we got up to do this?”
“You don’t need to wake up,” I tell my brother. “Nothing about this moment is for you.”
Brody sits up anyway. He’s hunched over with his elbows resting on his knees. “You think I’d be able to keep sleeping through all your racket? Besides, it’s my best friend we’re celebrating. If anyone should be singing happy birthday, it’s me.”
“Did you even plan anything to celebrate Max?”
Wax drips down the side of the candle, pooling on top of the muffin. Gross.
“Yeah.” Brody flings his arm out to his side. “When we get home.”
“It’s not my fault you didn’t rearrange your plans to be on Max’s actual birthday.”
Max stands, rubbing his face. He drops his hands to his sides. “There’s no need to argue.”
“Yeah, Bro,” I say with sass. “Don’t ruin Max’s special day.”
Brody looks at Max.
“This is exactly what I was talking about with you, Max. She’s acting like she’s actually your girlfriend, instead of rememberingyouaremybest friend. I don’t like it.” Brody turns to me. “I get that you need to act the part in front of the extended family, but you don’t need to do that when it’s just the four of us. He’s not your boyfriend.”
Man, my brother is grumpy. My eyes and face sting. If he were my real boyfriend, I would be doing a whole lot more than just bringing a muffin to him for breakfast. “I’m not trying to do or say anything to overstep your relationship with Max, Brody. He gave up his week to come down here and help me. The least I can do is remember his birthday. But you’re right, I have no claim to him.” I hand Max the muffin and the present underneath my armpit. “Happy birthday. See you guys at breakfast.”
I sprint from the room, frustrated with Brody and disappointed I didn’t get to see Max open my gift. It was the perfect find. As annoyed as I am with my brother, he’s speaking a truth I need to remember. Max and I aren’t an actual couple.
“Sadie!” Max shouts after me.
I head into the bathroom, locking the door. Max doesn’t need to see me cry. I sniffle, holding back tears. I don’t know why I’m feeling let down. In my head I pictured the way Max would blow out the candles and look at me after he opened his book. Him laughing so hard, his teeth and dimples showing through his scruff.
It’s dumb to be mad. The whole point was to do something nice for Max so he didn’t miss out completely. It’s about Max, not me. I needto get over myself and make sure that when we go whale watching later today I’m focused solely on completing another item on my bucket list, and making sure Max has a good time.
There isn’t a cloud in the sky. The wind is calm. The sun is warm and bright. It’s a perfect summer day in Alaska. Mother Nature has good timing too since the excursion we’re on is dependent on the weather, and if the conditions weren’t just right, we would have had to cancel with no other time available to rebook our tour. Happy beautiful excursion birthday day to Max.
We’re taking a small charter around Kachemak Bay searching for Orcas, Humpback, and Minke whales. We’ll go through Cook Inlet and Chrome Bay. Then the guide will take us out to the Gulf of Alaska. We’ll dock at Seldovia—a town only accessible by boat or plane—before going back to Homer.
“Don’t look now, but Dorian just boarded the boat,” Max whispers in my ear.
“When we booked our time, Dorian wasn’t on the list. How did he switch himself to this tour?” I moan. “What do you think he’ll try and do today?” I will say, his presence necessitates that Max and I up our affection. I’m not necessarily complaining about that part, but Dorian’s like a painful sticker in your foot. He needs to be removed as soon as possible.
“Come on.” Max puts his hand on my back, guiding me to the opposite side of the boat, hiding us behind the captain’s wheelhouse.
I’m not sure how long our cover will last. Dorian obviously knows I’m here. I’m going to do everything possible to stay away from him. I reallywant more time pretending Max and I are an actual couple. Because once we get home, I won’t get to grab his hand whenever I want. And right now, I just want to be a girl on vacation with her boyfriend doing something I’ll remember for the rest of my life.
A crew member reels in the gangplank and removes the mooring ropes. We’re told over a speaker where the life jackets are in case of an emergency and where to find drinks if we get thirsty.
“Are you afraid of the water or anything else?” I ask, tucking myself in next to Max and staring out at the bay as we slowly pull away from the dock.
Max shakes his head. “I’m not scared of the ocean.”
I wait for him to say more, but he doesn’t. Is his fear something super personal he doesn’t want to share with me or is it silly and he feels foolish telling me? “What are you afraid of then?”
Max winces. “This is another thing I don’t like people knowing about me.”
“I’m not going to hide snakes or spiders in your bed if that’s what you’re nervous about. I’m not you.”
