Page 58 of Own the Eights Maybe Baby
Lenny and Stu in button-ups and khakis were no bullshit baby busters.
“Put on the VR headsets. The system will count you down before the simulation begins. Good luck,” the man directed before shutting the door.
Georgie looked from side to side at the couples talking and moving around their clear boxes.
“This must be what it’s like for lab rats.”
“Yeah, kind of weird, but also pretty cool.” He picked up the headset. “VR is becoming popular in fitness. They’ve got virtual reality workout regimens. And one of my clients in construction told me the other day that they use it for figuring out plumbing on large-scale projects.”
Georgie eyed the headset. “Let’s not flush a VR baby down a virtual toilet.”
Or allow a virtual dog to take it on a virtual jaunt about town.
His wife put on the headset and gasped. “Wow! You’ve got to see this,” she said, waving her hands.
He followed suit and blinked as a virtual Georgie stood in front of him.
He looked around. “Are we in a grocery store?”
“It sure seems like it,” virtual Georgie answered when a woman’s robotic voice piped in.
“Five, four, three, two, one. Commence simulation.”
Ping.
He damn near fell over when Faby appeared out of nowhere and floated between them.
“Holy—” he began, about to drop a string of expletives when the VR version of his wife pressed her hand to his virtual mouth, and strangely, it silenced him.
“It’s a video game. I think we grab the baby,” Georgie said, pointing to the levitating child.
“Here goes.” He reached out, and while his fingers grasped nothing but air, he now held a cooing Faby in the simulation.
“Hello, Faby, the best fake baby around!” he said to the VR infant, then turned to Georgie. “This isn’t so bad,” he added, but he’d spoken too soon.
Just as the words left his mouth, the Faby’s content expression disappeared, and the infant released a piercing wail, booming into his ears through the headset’s speakers.
“Grocery Store Simulation. You must purchase all the groceries on your list while also meeting your child’s needs,” came the robot lady’s voice over the howling Faby.
“We’ve got to figure out how to calm down this video game Faby,” he exclaimed.
“Bounce or sway. Move around. See if that helps,” VR Georgie suggested.
He danced around, springing from foot to foot, but the baby wasn’t having it.
“It’s not working, Georgie!”
VR Georgie grabbed a shopping cart, and a virtual list popped up.
Okay! This had to be a good sign. They were making progress.
“We’re supposed to shop. Try putting Faby in the cart,” she suggested.
He attempted to place the infant in the kiddie seat of the shopping cart, but the program kept resetting and dangling the crying infant in the air.
“Why won’t they let us put the baby in the cart?” he asked, frustration mounting.
Virtual Georgie shrugged. “I don’t know. Do you think we’re supposed to carry the baby?”
