Page 42 of Horn of Plenty
The breath caught in her throat. She nodded, unable to lie to him. “I’d become a fashion influencer online and was close to signing a deal with an agency that wanted to partner with Bella Mae.”
“Why didn’t the deal go through?” he pressed.
A chill ran down her spine. “They learned that I was a fraud. I’d become pretty big on social media. But I’d lied. I said that I was Bella Mae. I made up a fictitious life and thought I could fool everyone into thinking that I was a trust fund baby who’d traveled the world. I doctored photos of myself to make it look like I spent my days in glamorous destinations. But it was a lie. I never left my apartment. I even quit my waitressing job to devote more time to Bella Mae.”
“How’d you get caught?” he asked with such concern in his eyes, it nearly broke her.
“I got called out. Someone posted information about my true identity, and the agency rescinded their offer. They didn’t want some farm girl pretending to be fashionable and worldly.” She wiped a hot, humiliated tear from her cheek. “I hate that I lied and deceived people. I hate that I spent every cent I had and even maxed out my credit cards on Bella Mae. I couldn’t even pay my rent. I’d put everything on the line to get signed. But that’s not the worst part.”
He held her gaze but didn’t say a word, giving her time.
She released a shaky breath. “I’ve wanted to be somebody else since I was thirteen. Since the day you…”
“Since the day I left you under the tree in the rain,” he finished.
Her pulse kicked up. It was as if everything that had happened to her over the last decade hinged on this moment. She swallowed hard, tasting her salty tears. “Everything changed after that. I couldn’t figure out why you ran away. I thought that if I could look more like the older girls that you and Jamie liked, then maybe you’d want me.”
“Mabel,” he said in a pained breath, but she couldn’t stop.
She had to go on. They’d danced around this issue for far too long.
“That’s where Bella Mae began. I started learning about fashion and makeup to try to seem older or maybe more sophisticated. But the more I tried to impress you, the more you’d ignore me. So, I thought I had to do more. I created this whole world about a girl named Bella Mae. A girl that even you couldn’t ignore. But I came to love it. I loved the clothes, and I started dreaming about visiting exciting cities and experiencing different cultures. What started out as a way to get your attention turned into my passion.”
“I wasn’t ignoring you,” he said, for what seemed like the millionth time.
The frustration that had been buried for years bubbled to the surface. “Yes, you were, Cal! Can’t you own that you didn’t want anything to do with me?”
He leaned in and lifted her chin as his eyes burned with passion. “Can’t you see that I had to leave you there that day because everything inside of me wanted to tell you that I…”
“What? What could be so awful?” she bit out.
He dropped his hands and paced in front of her. “You were thirteen years old, Mabel. I was sixteen. And I was your brother’s best friend.”
“That stopped you from being nice to me?” She wasn’t about to give him a pass. Yes, she could understand his hesitancy with city-living. But until that day under the tree, she’d never given him a reason to treat her so cruelly. “Why did you leave me there by myself?” she pleaded, needing to know.
He held her shoulders. “Because if I had stayed, I would have told you that I loved you.”
“You loved me?” she whispered, taking a step back.
He stared up at the sky. “You were only a girl, and all I wanted to do that day was take you in my arms and kiss you. Even then, you were so damned beautiful. And the way you looked at me made me feel like I was invincible—like there wasn’t anything I couldn’t do. But I couldn’t give in to it. I had to pretend like I didn’t have feelings for you.”
That might have made sense when they were younger, but she hadn’t been a child for a very long time.
She shook her head. “I’m not buying it, Cal. We grew up. And you still shunned me,” she shot back.
“I didn’t know how to talk to you. After that damned day, all you wanted was to leave Elverna and spend your life in London or Paris. You put up pictures of cities in your bedroom. You started wearing those fancy outfits, and you carried your passport with you everywhere you went. You still do,” he replied, disdain coating his words.
Tears streamed down her cheeks. “That’s not a good enough reason. You had to know that you were the catalyst for everything. With one kind word, you could have had me. With one touch, I would have been yours. But you took it away—your attention, your affection. It ended, and I thought it was my fault. I’ve lived all these years trying to figure out why I wasn’t enough for you.”
He ran his hands through his mass of honey-brown hair before falling to his knees at her feet and taking her hands into his. “You have always been enough. And I never stopped loving you. I told Jamie everything the morning of your twenty-first birthday.”
“The day he died?” she whispered, lowering herself to the ground.
Cal brushed another hot tear from her cheek. “Yes. We were in the west field, and I thought he was going to punch my lights out when I told him that I was in love with his baby sister. But he didn’t. He was happy. He was so damned happy, Mabel. We were laughing when he suddenly pitched forward and clutched his chest. I couldn’t wrap my head around what was going on, but he must have sensed that he didn’t have much time because that’s when he told me what he wanted me to do. He made me promise him something.”
“What did he say?” She’d known Cal was with her brother when he’d died, but she’d had no idea that they’d spoken of her.
Cal’s bottom lip trembled. “He told me to make Elverna a place where you’d want to be—a place you’d love. He knew your dad was having health issues, and he asked me to keep the farm going because it would be yours one day. And he wanted me to save the town. It’s your home, and it’s your legacy, Mabel. That’s what he kept saying until he was gone.”
