Page 7 of Horn of Plenty
“Look below. How many likes does it have?” she continued.
His eyes went wide. “Jesus! Eleven thousand, six hundred and three! And CougarMomKathy4456 wants to have me all to herself for an hour!” he exclaimed, reading the bevy of X-rated comments. He scrolled through the feed and scoffed. The women who’d left the dirtiest comments looked more like they belonged at an elementary school PTA meeting—not online gawking at him.
“Yep, my broody farmer, you are the farm porn,” she replied, giving him a look CougarMomKathy4456 would surely approve. “Sex sells, Cal. And there are a lot of horny housewives who seem to have a thing for you.”
“That’s outrageous!” he exclaimed.
She scrolled through the feed, then handed him her phone. “Check the hashtag. I didn’t even make that one up. It was your fanbase.”
“Fanbase?” he uttered. That was ludicrous…or maybe not.
#HornyHousewivesLoveHotFarmers
He hated to admit it, but there might be something to this.
“See, they even abbreviated it,” she continued, tapping on the hashtag withH,H,L,H,F.
“I don’t know what to think about that,” he said, feeling quite half-naked. It was one thing for Mabel to ogle him. That got him going in no time flat. But it was a whole different ball of wax for a bunch of cougars to go after him.
“I could add the hashtag horn of plenty,” she offered with a wicked glint in her eyes.
His jaw dropped. “Hell, no! Promise me you won’t do that, Mabel.”
She chuckled. “I give you my word. Plus, it’s good to keep up the mystery with the #HHLHF crew. Keep them guessing as to what’s hidden inside those button fly jeans.”
He gave her his best broody farmer look.
She patted his cheek. “Lighten up, Horner. You’ll feel fine when you see the farmers’ market bursting with people,” she said, scooping up his cats, Park and Eastfield, then placing them in his arms.
“I don’t want people to come just because they want my body,” he said, adjusting the cats in his arms. The poor orange Tabbies had no idea what they were getting themselves into.
“I only want your body,” Mabel replied, pressing her lips together to suppress a grin as she lined up the shot.
“I can live with that. It’s the other people that freak me out,” he answered, frowning into the camera.
“Like it or not, you’ve got abs that make women weep,” she replied, setting up a shot from another angle. “And we need them to show up and buy some cheese, kale, and fancy mushrooms. It’s not a huge ask—especially if they get to gawk at you.”
He held the unsuspecting cats as Mabel snapped picture after picture when the alarm on his phone went off. Mabel gasped. Keeping their naughty escapades on the down-low was no easy feat.
“I have to go!” she said, staring down at the bedsheet. “And I can’t run out of the cottage and climb up the lattice in this.”
“Hand me your phone,” he said, smooshing Park and Eastfield in one arm.
She frowned. “Why?”
“Because you’re getting in on this farm porn before you go.” He gestured with his chin for her to join him.
She gave him a skeptical look but handed it over. “Cal, we don’t have a lot of time!”
She was right. Her father would be up in a matter of minutes, and the Garver brothers would be here to check on the animals soon. Plus, with it being the first Saturday farmers’ market, he could only assume that everyone would be up a little earlier today. Still, he wanted her in the shot with him.
He pegged her with his gaze. “I’m not doing this alone. If you want more farm porn, you have to be a part of it.”
She cocked her head to the side. “What will people think? You know they can’t know about…”
Her cheeks grew crimson, and he loved that he could elicit that kind of response.
“All the sex?” he supplied.
