Page 162 of The Nanny and the Beefcake
“Night, night, Mibby,” he mumbled, turning onto his side.
She rose to her feet. With her body trembling and her heart racing, she started down the stairs. But after three steps, she stopped, afraid her wobbly legs might turn to Jell-O. Holding the rail, she lowered herself onto the step and cradled her head in her hands when the blue-violet aura edged out the darkness. She touched the smooth plank of wood where Raz had sat a few weeks ago. They’d opened their hearts to each other here, sharing their shards of pain. But it was one thing for her to tell Raz about her father. It was a whole different story to experience the man in the flesh.
Why couldn’t he do it? Why couldn’t Connolly Lamb have been the father she and the twins had needed?
The stairs creaked, and she glanced up to find Raz coming toward her.
“I’m sorry about that. My dad must be desperate,” she said, staring at the floor. “He usually calls. It’s never a good sign when he shows up.”
“It’s not your fault, plum.”
She forced herself to look up. “I heard what you said to him.”
He nodded and sat down next to her. “I figured you did.”
“Who do you want him to call?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“It does to me.” She watched him closely.
“It’s an opportunity to become a better version of himself.”
What did that mean?
She couldn’t work it out, not now, not with the cocktail of humiliation, exhaustion, and frustration surging through her veins. And that’s when the dam holding back the flood of pain and disappointment broke. Tears trailed down her cheeks, and she turned away from Raz just as he stood.
Was he leaving?
Was this too much for him, or perhaps he wanted to give her some privacy?
But he didn’t go anywhere.
Before she could wipe the salty tears from her cheeks, Raz lifted her into his arms and held her close.
“You don’t have to hide your tears from me, plum,” he said, carrying her into her bedroom.
They’d spent every night in this room, limbs tangled and bodies writhing. But something was different in here tonight.
The energy had shifted.
He lowered her onto the bed, then went to the window and pushed the one crow curtain aside, allowing the light of the moon to bathe the space in a blue glow. She couldn’t take her eyes off him as he shook out a quilt folded at the foot of the bed, slid in next to her, and covered them.
She rolled onto her side, and he mirrored her movement. They stayed like that, safe under the warmth of the quilt, staring into each other’s eyes. Her heart swelled in her chest as she gazed at her beefcake, the former thorn in her metaphysical side who was now the man she…
Stop.
She couldn’t go there—not now, not ever.
Raz cupped her face in his hand, then kissed the tears on her cheeks. “Picture a time when you were truly happy.”
“What are you doing?” she whispered, swallowing a sob.
“What I listen to you do with Sebastian every night. I decided to add kissing to it. Do you mind—the kissing, that is?”
This man.
Fresh tears trailed down her cheeks, and he kissed them away.
