Page 177 of The Nanny and the Beefcake
“I’m what?” she asked, the question hanging in the air as her eyes shined with a hopeful expectancy.
“You’re a good person who deserves to know if her O is back,” he said, the words tasting like dirt.
“What does this mean for us?” she asked, confusion lacing the question. “I won’t lie. I wanted you to win, Raz. And…”
“And?” he repeated.
“And when you tell me you want me, it makes my chi go topsy-turvy in the best way. But what you’re saying isn’t the forever kind of want, right? Like, I’m yours until you go back to England…until after the fight.”
Was that true?
Is that why he hadn’t been more explicit? Did he only need her now with the fight on the horizon? Was he that bloody selfish of a prick?
“I…I don’t know,” he sputtered, grappling with his demons.
It would have been easier if she had a gong to bang in his face or a vibrator to toss at his head. But there wasn’t an ounce of judgment in her amber eyes, not a sliver of contempt or a flash of anger.
“I’ll see you back at the house. If Sebastian asks where I went…” she trailed off.
“I’ll tell him you’re on a walk to pick those flowers you like,” he supplied.
“Okay,” she whispered as a wretched stretch of silence engulfed them. After what could have been a bloody eternity or two seconds, she nodded and headed toward the street.
He watched her until she disappeared, then ran his hands down his face.
What had he done?
“You look like shit, man.”
Raz looked up to find Landon.
“I feel like I’ve been run over by a Mack truck.” He stared at the man. The guy looked different. “Where have you been, mate? I’ve barely seen you this summer.”
Landon’s expression hardened. “Busy.”
“Busy hiding from your fans,” he tossed out.
“I know you guys like to give me crap about being recognized in public. But I’m a pretty big deal in a lot of places,” the man replied like worldwide popularity was a bad thing.
“Sorry, mate, I’m all over the board. We know you’re bloody successful. Rowen and Mitch checked out your thousands of fan groups. And I’m sorry for coming off like a real prat. I’m losing it here.”
“Over Libby?” Landon asked.
He nodded as an idea took hold. “You write love songs, don’t you?”
Landon cocked his head to the side. “I’m not writing you a love song, dude.”
“No, I don’t want you to write a song for me. I need help with the romantic stuff. I don’t want Libby to be with anyone else, but she left to…”
“Hang with the benchmark guy?”
Raz’s jaw dropped. “How do you know about that?”
“I saw the other donkey racer guy staring at Libby, then the two of you walked away to talk. And it looked pretty intense.”
Raz narrowed his gaze. “That doesn’t explain how you know about the benchmark.”
“Libby told her friends about it, and—”
