Page 241 of The Nanny and the Beefcake
“He’s got the fight tonight. His make-or-break must-win moment.” She rubbed her temples and peered at the bird. “What do you think, Mom? Maybe I should text the girls and ask about him. Rowen, Landon, and Mitch were supposed to go to the weigh-in yesterday. Or I could message his sisters, but that might be weird. What do you think I should do?”
The crow lunged forward, then snapped the stone into its beak.
She shot up and scowled at the bird. “Hey, Mom, I get that was your stone, but come on? What are you going to do with it now that you’re a crow?”
“Miss, are you having an altercation with a bird?”
Libby gasped at the sight of two police officers, one male and one female, walking toward her.
When did they get here?
“There’s no altercation here. I’m talking to the crow, but the crow isn’t talking back, obviously. As you can see, it has my stone.”
“The bird stole something from you?” the policewoman asked.
“Yes, well, sort of. The stone belonged to my mom years ago. You see, I’m speaking to the crow now because the bird might be channeling the spirit of my mother.”
The officers shared a cagey look—not that dissimilar from the way the officers had looked at her the night her rage yoga session had taken a turn toward the psychotic.
If she didn’t stop talking, she’d earn herself a one-way ticket to a padded cell.
“You believe your mother is the bird?” the male officer pressed.
How was she supposed to answer that honestly?
Libby gestured to the crow with a flat stone in its beak, who seemed quite enthralled with the human hubbub. “I know this bird isn’t my actual mother. My mom passed away when I was younger. But there’s a chance the bird is acting on her energy, and therefore, I’m chatting with a version of my mother’s energy—her essence, her psychic ripple.”
“Psychic ripple?” the male officer repeated with a crinkle to his brow.
Libby chewed her lip. “It’s not illegal to talk to birds, is it?”
“What’s your name, ma’am?” the woman asked.
This was not good.
“Libby Lamb.”
The cops shared another ominous look.
“This is her,” the male officer said as the woman nodded.
This encounter just went from not good to downright bananas.
“What do you mean,this is her?” she blathered, her pulse hammering.
“You’ve got a charge for lewd behavior. We need to bring you in. We heard you’d be here,” the male officer explained.
Libby’s stomach dropped. “That charge was dropped, thanks to the donkeys.”
The female cop raised an eyebrow. “A donkey told you the charges were dropped, ma’am?”
Gah!
“No,” she shrieked. “The chief of police.”
“Are you saying the chief of police is a donkey?” the woman shot back.
Hello, padded cell.
