Page 178 of Always Meant for You
His expression shifts. He’s trying to hide it, but his bottom lip quivers. He’s vulnerable—more fragile than I’ve ever seen him.
“You want me to go to New York City?”
“Yeah, I do.”
He sits beside me, and Mabel the Cat scampers onto his lap, almost as if she can sense his unease. He pets her a few times, then sets her on the floor. He doesn’t speak for a full minute.
“I don’t know if I can, Mabel,” he says after what feels like a lifetime. “The city isn’t my thing.” Pain flickers in his eyes. Still, he doesn’t look away from me. He lets me see it.
“But you should go,” he continues. “I believe in you. Whatever this Chelsea lady wants, I trust you to do what’s best. You don’t need me. I’m just a farmer. I’d get in the way.” He smiles, and again, it doesn’t light up his eyes.
“Would you ever want to visit some cities with me, in the future?” My voice catches on the last word.
He kneels in front of me, his calloused hands resting on my thighs. “Cities just . . .” His thumbs move in slow, measuredcircles. “The country is where I know how to breathe. It’s where things make sense for me.”
I nod, but the ache pushes in anyway. “I get it. I do. I should go. It could be a real opportunity for the town.”
“I agree,” he answers.
Emotion builds in my chest. “But I need you to know that Elverna is my home. You are my home. I love you, Cal. I’m not running. I’m not disappearing.”
“I know you’re not.” He leans in, resting his forehead against my knees. His breath moves across my skin, and I slip my fingers into his damp hair, holding him there, wishing I could make time stop.
“I know it’s selfish,” I whisper, winding a lock of his hair around my finger. “But I want you with me. For all of it. I love you. I’ll always want you by my side.”
He tenses slightly beneath my hands.
“You’re always welcome,” I say softly. “No matter where I am or what I’m doing. If you ever change your mind, I want you to know there will always be space for you.”
“I’ll be here,” he says quietly. “I’ll always be here when you come back, making sure this town is everything you deserve and everything Jamie dreamed it could be. That’s my best,” he adds, his voice thick with emotion. “That’s what I can give you.”
I nod. I understand. He sees me and loves every part, and I do the same for him. That’s love. Real, honest love.
I reach for him—no expectation, no pressure—and press my hand to his heart. “Callan Horner, I love you exactly as you are. You never have to pretend with me. Promise me, you’ll stay true to yourself.”
There’s a glint of wistfulness in his eyes, something unspoken and aching, before he lifts my hand to his mouth and kisses my knuckles. “I promise.”
Chapter Thirty-Four
CAL
The road stretches ahead of us. Mabel’s hand rests in mine. My fingers curl tighter around hers, holding on to every mile, every breath, every second before she’s gone.
Her hair moves in soft waves against her cheek, and I want so badly to reach over and tuck it behind her ear, but I don’t. If I touch her, I won’t stop. And she has a bus to catch. Then a plane.
Neither of us talks much, but the silence isn’t hollow. It’s thick with everything we said last night.
I love her.
I trust her.
But I can’t go to New York with her—even for a short visit.
My place is here.
That thinking used to ground me. But today, I’m far from grounded. Every part of me feels pulled in her direction. And she hasn’t even left yet.
The diner comes into view, and the bus depot across the street. The bus is already there, door open, engine running, the driver standing beside it, having a smoke.
