Page 18 of Always Meant for You
Cal.
His stormy blue eyes flash in my mind.
The moment that could have turned into something more.
But it didn’t.
It didn’t, and it never will.
It never will!
I check the time. The Greyhound to Chicago stops in Elverna in less than an hour. I know the schedule. The diner is across the street from the bus depot. I’ve watched those buses from the window for years, memorizing each arrival and departure time.
From Chicago, I can get a bus to New York.
I grab a pen and tear a sheet of paper from a notebook on my desk.
Dear Dad,
I’m sorry I couldn’t be the daughter you wanted.
I stayed in Elverna as long as I could.
But I need to leave to chase the life I’ve always dreamed of.
I’ll call you when I get there.
Love,
Mabel Ruth
I fold the note and leave it on my pillow.
I look out at the night sky and exhale a shaky breath.
I remove my pink heels and place them carefully inside the duffel. I grab my bags and adjust the straps until they sit securely on my shoulders. I take one last look at my room. I study the corkboard teeming with pictures. I don’t need to take it with me. I’ll be there for real.
I climb through the window and find the first rung of the trellis, the wood familiar beneath my bare foot. The wind liftsmy hair and brushes my face. The air is thick with the weight of losing Jamie, losing Cal, losing my father.
When I reach the ground, the earth greets me with a damp chill. I stand and let it settle me.
It’s dark now. Crickets chirp in the field beyond the house. The kitchen light spills across the yard in a soft rectangle. Jamie’s cottage sits dark and empty. I move along the side of the house, my feet silent against the dirt path.
At the corner of the house, I pause and peer through the living room window. Guests still linger. Cal’s back is to me. So is my father’s.
That’s it. That’s my sign.
I slip on my heels and stand taller, my spine straight and chin lifted. I head down the drive, bits of earth crunching under my steps. I’ve walked this stretch thousands of times—barefoot, in boots, in heels. And now, in tears.
I don’t look back.
I know where I’m going.
Goodbye, Mabel Ruth Muldowney.
Hello, Bella Mae.
Chapter Five
