Page 48 of Absolute Certainty
That sounded exactly like the Sahar he was getting to know. Jay didn’t have any social media accounts, save for Letterboxd, which also didn’t count as one; yet, it didn’t shock him in the least that Sahar used her platform to prop up others.
“Well, fuck that guy,” Jay emphasized. “I’m glad you’re aware of him, though. I got worried for a second when she told me he was in your show.”
A melancholy smile appeared on Alex’s face. “You don’t have to worry about me as much, Jay. I’m feeling a lot better about most things. I still have my days, but if everything I went through taught me anything, it’s that I’m not going to trust people as easily as I trusted Dad when he came back.”
Her transparency eased the ache in his chest. “Is therapy going well?”
Alex nodded. “Really well.”
Good. This was good. His sister being on the right track toward healing was comforting. And Jay was grateful that even when Alex shut herself off and broke because of their deadbeat sperm donor, she felt safe enough to come to him about whatever she needed.
He was about to ask if she’d seenMidnights at Pemberleywhen the screen door to the backyard opened, and Eloise waltzed inside with his mom.
“Dad!” she screeched.
Jay bent down, flinging his arms out, and Eloise ran into his embrace. “We found so many flowers,” she said excitedly. He gave her a big squeeze before letting go.
“Yeah? All in our backyard?”
Eloise bounced her head up and down. “Every single one. Grandma’s garden is so big now! There’s always a new flower! Even on the cactus!” She spun to face his mom. “Grandma, can we please play video games before lunch?”
Jay looked over at his mom, trying to mimic his daughter’s doe-eyed expression.
Setting the flowers down on the island, she opened a drawer and pulled out garden scissors before saying, “Yes, I’ll clean up some of the dirt off these flowers and cut them properly, then you have come to help me arrange them. This was your idea, little lady. I want to seeyourbouquet.”
Eloise bolted into the living room. Jay stood up and followed.
He plopped down on the couch while Eloise enthusiastically set up the game. Alex and his mom chattered about the flowers in the kitchen. After Eloise turned everything on, she sat beside Jay on the couch. “The level is so hard. We tried it four times yesterday!”
Jay looked over at the screen to where a giant gingerbread man was standing against some sort of wall. “Okay, remember how I explained the logistics of a game to you? Before you start, look at your surroundings. Think of everything you could use and how you could use it. If you need to pause and let your mind catch up, you’re better off doing that than trying to speed through.”
“It’s a lot.”
He nodded. “You’re nearing the end, so it’ll start becoming more challenging now.”
Eloise looked attentively at the screen, considering his advice.
Jay leaned closer to her. “I think it’s also freaking you out that you can’t see what’s coming for you, but you have an advantage here. You’re not trapped like the character.”
She faced him. “It is.”
Eloise then squared her shoulders and pressed play. Jay cheered her on. “There you go. Keep going. It’s gotta be timed or something,” he said. She meandered through the level seamlessly, jumping and hopping enthusiastically in her seat as she played. And then, she did it. She actually freed the thing, beating the level entirely.
“I did it! I did it!” she celebrated, running around the living room, doing some sort of a happy dance in the process.
“I hear the excitement. And just in time to help me with the flowers,” his mom called out from the kitchen.
“Thanks, Dad!” Eloise nearly screamed, then she ran to the kitchen.
At that exact moment, his phone vibrated in his pocket.
SAHAR
I just finished reading the revisions for ep 4 and I’m W R E C K E D. Everything hits so much harder with the drawn-out silence and the beats that came before. The way you had Henry stumble on his words before THE confession came out!??? I straight up cried. Again. Jesus, mate. Warn me next time.
Jay smiled to himself as he walked back toward the kitchen. Nothing might come from this story. Even if he changed the majority and pitched it again, the powers that be might not be interested in it. It might stay shelved in his archives indefinitely. But Sahar’s admiration for it—her full understanding of his vision could be the very reason why he’d persevere and why he wouldn’t give up on writing, even when he thought about it at least once a day.
She was single-handedly giving him the confidence necessary to see that his words weren't complete shit.
