Page 112 of Collateral Damage
“You were in love with her too, and she chose you. I wasn’t going to get between that.”
I can see his mind working, backtracking through years of memories and viewing them in a new light. “I thought you saw her as a sister, but this makes so much sense. No wonder you were such a miserable fuck-boy in college.”
My nostrils flare in amusement. “Wow. Thanks.”
He side-eyes me. “It’s true, and you know it.”
“There’s more…” I grimace, wishing I didn’t have to add to the confession, but this has been burning a hole in me for four years, and I can’t leave it unsaid another minute. “Remember when you two broke up for a day?”
A wrinkle forms between his eyebrows. “Yeah…?”
“Well, I went over there to see how she was doing, and…”
The color drains from his face. “Did you hook up?”
“We kissed. I’m so sorry. It never should’ve happened. She regretted it. She didn’t want to ruin things with you. She loved you, not me, and I took advantage of her heartbreak.” My fingers grip the back of my head, tugging at my hair as I try to pull myself together. “I never should’ve gone over there.”
He’s quiet for a long moment, and I don’t know what to expect. Rage? I know I’d be pissed as hell if the roles were reversed.
“Do you know why we broke up?”
She was getting cold feet about an engagement, and he got upset. I remember it like it was yesterday.
“I was right the first time,” he says. “She didn’t want to marry me.”
“She did?—”
“No, she didn’t. She wouldn’t have broken the engagement as soon as things got hard if she truly wanted to get married. Do you think that’s the behavior of a woman in love? As pissed as I want to be with both of you, I’m not.” He shrugs. “So much time has passed, and I’m committed to Arden. She loves me the way I want to be loved, and I love her, too. We’re the real deal.”
Wow. Okay, then…
I knew he was in love with Arden, but this is a side of my brother I never saw with anyone else, not even Sybil. Not even close.
“I’m still sorry.”
He nods slowly. “I’m not mad about the kiss, Cooper, but I am mad you kept these secrets from me for so long. We’re supposed to be brothers.”
I smirk. “Like how you had a whole affair with Arden you never told me about? Like those kinds of secrets?”
He barks out a laugh. “Touché.”
I rib him with my elbow, and an easy silence falls between us.
“What are you going to do, Cooper? Are you going to tell Sybil how you feel?”
“Yeah, that’s not happening. She hates me. Hates all of us Kings.”
He contemplates that for a moment, finally shaking his head. “I don’t think she hates you.”
Unfortunately, Iknowshe does, and to think otherwise is delusional.
“There’s nothing to be done. I have to learn to live with it until I eventually meet the right person.”
Ethan pats my knee. “One day, you’ll meet someone who makes your feelings for Sybil pale in comparison. If I can find my person, I know you can, too.”
I nod like I agree, even though I don’t. Ethan getting over Sybil is proof he never saw or valued her to her fullest. She’s not a woman you simply get over by meeting someone new. She’s a woman you love for the rest of your life, whether or not you’re with her. She’s not a girl you leave in the past willingly—she’s the one that got away.
Forty-Seven
